1. Entries may be as short or long as you wish.
2.All entries are to show a date & follow the date of the entry above it.
3.Entries should start during the end of August 2000 and move on as the entries continue. (i.e. First entry may be Aug 22, 2000 then the next one should be dated within a week of that one like August 28, 2000).
4.They cannot contain spoilers.
5.Keep it clean.
6.Please spell check.
7.Submit entries by filling out the form at the bottom of the page:)
8.Entries will show up within 36 hours.
9.You may submit as many entries for as many characters as you wish.
10.DO NOT use quotes because the form will cut off part of your entry. If you want to use quotes please do plus signs & I will change it quotes.
11.I reserve the right to reject any entries that are not consistant with the characters at the time of the current episode.

August 22nd 2000
It's been 99 days 2 hours and 43 minutes since I last saw Liz. I wonder what she's doing? Does she miss me? Does she regret walking away? It's now been 99 days 2 hours and 44 minutes...


Oct 9th 2000
Yesterday I held somebodies dead skin in my hands. Geez, that was creepy. Maria gave me a book, "Top 100 ways for an alien to reclaim his human love". I think it's working! At the crashdown I told Liz I was coming for HER. That was tip 58 in the book. Tip 59... tell her that she makes you see her soul...hmmmm....


Dec 2nd 2000
I still have feelings for Liz. I know she says she slept with Kyle but I just don't believe it. It's something in her eyes. Why is she doing this to me? I know she wouldn't have warned me about the granolith unless she cared. How did she even know about it? Lonnie and Rath could still be on the loose. If I ever get my hands on them... I can't believe I allowed myself to be fooled by them. Nicholas is still around too. All these worries as a King and I have a stupid test tomorrow!


Jan 1st 2001
I thought I had Liz back but I must have been wrong. When I saw her with Kyle....I could have killed him. What right has he to take away the love of my life.I know that before I came into the picture that he and Liz were together but that gives him no right to sleep with her.But I just don't understand why Liz would sleep with him. She told me that she loved me. And I still think she does with the way she protects me and is always there for me. But I can't understand why she would sleep with Kyle if she loved me.There's no sense in it all. I dunno. I love her still. I will always love her. I know I am destined to be with Tess and everything but no one can compare with Liz. Tess is nice and everything but she's not Liz. I wish she would get with Kyle so that Kyle will leave my Liz alone. I can forgive Liz I guess but I dunno I just can't believe that Liz would do that to me. I dunno.I just get this feeling that something wasn't right about that.Besides the fact that it was Liz and Kyle instead of Liz and me. Well I will figure something out....I hope.


March 21st 2001
The weirdest thing happened to me the other day. I took off to Las Vegas with the whole crew, but after an argument with Michael, I decided to come home. The thing was, as I was about to enter a cab, I turned and saw this couple who had just been married. All of a sudden I saw Liz and I in that position. I don't understand why I would see that unless it was meant to be. I love her, I don't care what she did. Why can't see just come back to me? Why can't I go back to her? Oh right, she slept with Kyle.....There seems to be somthing wrong with that entire situation. Something is up with it, but I don't know what. Maybe soon I will.


March 27th 2001
Man.. I've been so jealous of Michael lately. He has his own motorcycle. I wish I had my own motorcycle. Man.. I'd look so fine. I wonder if Liz would think I was fine. Nah.. she'd probably picture Kyle on the back or something. You know whats weird I cant find my lucky horseshoe anywhere. Maybe I'm paranoid because I broke into Liz's house and stole her pillow. It just smells like her shampoo. Mmmm vanilla. Ok.. I've depressed myself now. Please help me Buddha.


Max
P.S. I wonder how Nasedo never noticed Congresswoman Whitaker was a skin. They did get the groove thing on quite alot. That's always bugged me.


March 30th 2001
I feel so lonely now, that Liz doesn't want to be with me anymore. I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw her in her bedroom window in bed with kyle. I thought my eyes where playing tricks on me but i guess they weren't. God, i just want her back. My heartacke is driving me crazy. I just feel so helpless. It took everything to get her back and now she sleeps with kyle.
Please God help me!!!!!


April 5th 2001
I've been siting home with a lot on my mind. These past few weeks have been hard on me and everyone else too. I don't understand what is going on because it appears that the present is not what it was suspose to be. Strange, I know, but anything is possible.


April 7th 2001
And away we go again. I was walking down the street the other day with Micheal and I saw Liz on the other side. Her and Maria were looking in the shop window at clothes. I don't think she saw me though. It was so hard to see her and not to be able to go to her and whisper into her ear. It's just so horrible.


April 11th 2001
I can't believe it I am really gorgeous and good looking but why is she fooling round with Maria's cousin or whatever he is. He's been in Jail maybe that's what Liz wants a mysterious and dangerous guy. A real bad boy maybe I'll try to be one. I'll go out and buy some really gangster clothes and totally change my look. Maybe I'll ask Isabel seen as she's the Fashion expert. Write in here later.


April 20th 2001
I just made a big fat mistake! I kissed Tess. Now nothing can ever be the same again with Liz. I'm so mad at myself!!! I don't even like Tess as a person so I don't know why I even kissed her. I feel so guilty, but I can't tell Liz. She said it would break her if I told her that i was with Tess. But I'm not with Tess, I just kissed her. Arrrrrrghh!!!!
Max


Early April 21st 2001
I HATE Sean!I want to kill him so badly!I envy him with every single one of my cells.Why do i suddenly have an urge to kick the living crap out of him?This is why!I was walking down the streets of Roswell trying to clear my head(the day after the prom) and I look across the street to find him touching and kissing MY Liz!She was even smiling that breath taking and stunning smile of hers!She was giving him the smile that she only ever gave to me!I am the only one who is supposed to do that with her!I probably sound insane because things are


Late April 21st 2001
Just got back from prom tonight. The wierdest thing happened. I kissed Tess. I couldn't believe it. One minute I was depressing over Liz and I, an the next Tess and I were kissing. Afterwards I went and looked for Liz, but I couldn't find her. So I went down the Crashdown to see if I could find her, but she wasn't there. I really hope she didn't see what I think she might have. I didn't want to kiss her, but it was like something was making me. I like Tess and all but my heart belongs to Liz. I can't help it. I have a destiny to be with Tess, but I feel it shoul be with Liz. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I never saved Liz that day in the crashdown. The thing is I can't really imagine not saving her. Lately I don't feel like myself. I'm making decesions I don't want to make. I don't understand myself.


Early April 22nd 2001
Dear Log,
I think it is finaly over between Liz and I. I mean we danced once at the prom and she pretty much told me that she can't take the fact that Tess and I are destined to be together. So afterwards I went out in the hall to think. Tess came out to talk to me and we ended up kissing. I can't believe it. I don't even know how it happened. It's not like I wanted to because even now after it happened I know still that I have no feelings for Tess the way I do for Liz. So after we kissed I went and looked for Liz. I couldn't find her anywhere so then I went by the crashdown and she wasn't there either. I hope she didn't see Tess and I kiss. I wouldn't know how to explain it to her. I can't even explain it to myself. Yes, I have a destiny with Tess, but my heart belongs to Liz. I can't explain it, but it does. There has always been something about Liz that just pulls me to her. I can't explain that either. Maybe one day I can.


Early April 24th 2001
Dear Log,
My responsibilities, as they are, make my life as it is miserable. It seems that, in order to make one person happy, I have to make someone else suffer. Nothing is clear as I wish it could be. Alex has died. I feel numb with loss, and with the knowledge that it is so easy to lose the ones I love. I went in the van to heal him; I opened the body bag, and I saw him. I closed my eyes as I placed my hand on his mangled chest. It was horrible. I could not even look at him. I could feel the energy go through my palm, but in my heart, I knew that there was no possibility of my being able to bring him back. As I left the van, I saw all of my friends... The look on their faces just killed me. Never in all of my lives, will I ever forget the pain on Isabel's face. I ran after her, but there was no comfort I was able to give. Liz came to my room, and I felt a light dawn, but her grief, that she hides, comes out as anger. She left me eating, with the knowlege that she knew Tess and I kissed.....I can't even react to that. She said that it's good that I've moved on.....but I haven't, and I never will. All I ever see, is Liz, even in Tess, and I can't ever let go. I saw the file that Valenti had written up on Alex. The evidence is convincing....I saw it in the file that it was more likely than anything that he was depressed...But we all saw him.....and he wasn't like that. The funeral was terrible. At the reception at his house, in his bedroom, Liz said some things that really was out of line, and I got so mad that I left along with Tess, Isabel, and Micheal....For some reason I feel that everything is really starting to fall apart at the seams, and worse, I think we are all being seperated by secrets and lies. Tess is there for me, more often than not, and I am compelled to go to her for release of all my burdens....but I know it wouldn't be fair. It's my responsibility....I will handle it, and one day, everything will be back to as i! t should be, whatever that is...
Max


April 28th 2001
Okay, being a leader sucks.... I know that's not a word I use often, but I feel it's appropriate now. This role sucks.

And I've been thinking, about the whole Alex thing, and....maybe if Liz is right, maybe I'm just afraid that I would be responsible for Alex's death. I've just got so much more on my shoulders right now, and this wasn't exactly the best time. Alex didn't deserve that, and I know, as my role as a leader, I shouldn't have let them get involved. That was one desicion I screwed up on. But I didn't really know I was a leader then either.

I've got to start making the right descions now. No more humans involved, no more helping.... even if that means no more Liz. God, I hate to say that, but she's right, and we both have to move on. Michael can still do what he wants with Maria. It's not like I can stop him. But even if he's dating her, they can't be in danger anymore, no more involving. I'm a leader, and I have to make the right desicions, starting!now.

Still.... being a leader sucks...
April 29th 2001
Dear Log,
I have been having the worst dreams lately. I don't even understand them....I see mist, everything is cloudy, and images seem to go so fast in every direction that I cant slow them down to make any sense in them. I tried to dreamwalk Isabel, but she has shut me out. I know I will never be able to have her ability, but I have been able to contact her with concentration. Alex's death, I feel, has made her shut down. I can't bear to see her that way. It really concerns me that Is won't let me in, she has an iron grip on her mind, and I can't help her. I wish Alex never died. I wish I could go back in time, and stop all these terrible things from happening.
Max


May 2nd 2001
Okay, when did I become the one everyone hates? When did everything I know switch around? I mean here I am, and the only one I can get to agree with me is Tess. Isabel, what is she thinking??? Can't she see that leaving will kill us all? Is she forgetting who we really are? That college won't make everything go away? What if we need her? I know I sound like a big jerk, but I am making the right decision here. It's too risky for her to leave. And Liz- we did a full 360 turn. I feel like I don't even know her anymore. What went wrong? Where did we say the wrong things? Does she truly feel like thsi?The same words just keep repeating in my head: Is it really over? Funny Tess is the only here for me through this. And it's amazing I used to want nothing to do with her. But it still feels a litte uncomfortable- kissing her, holding her...not the way Liz used to. Is Tess forcing me though? No, I can't think like that now. She's the only one I have left. But still, could she? !And when do all these questions get answered?


May 8th 2001
I'm still in shock I think. I mean, it was only 1 night and now I'm going to be a father. I'm scared and proud all at the same time. Does this truly mean that Tess is my Destiny? If we can go home, will we? I mean, when it comes down to it, do I want to leave here to go there? I'm so confused. Deep in my heart, I know I still love Liz, but my responsibilities lie with Tess now. Liz, Maria, Kyle, Valenti, even Alex have had such a huge impact on our lives here. It will be hard it that's what we decide to do. All I know is that we must decide together. Here in this decoded mess of papers are all the answers we ever wanted. Part of me is filled with joy. The answers to our problems. The other part of me is wrecked with guilt, because Liz was right. I am responsible for Alex.


May 21st 2001
So much has happened today, going after Leanna, telling Liz everything. Going to the Granalith. Hearing Tess's betrayel. I don't know how I ever fell in love with her. I probably didn't. She probably brainwarped me into thinking that I did. She's a betrayer, and I will never forget everthing she's done to us all. Manipulating us to get what she wants, because of a DEAL that Naseado made forty years ago. My son is in danger. He wasn't in danger on Earth, he was in danger with Tess. How could've I never saw that? She really hated Liz, she wasn't the person I thought she was. I can hardly even think straight right now. But Liz was there at the rocks, she was the one who figured out that Tess was doing the brainwarping. Once again, Liz saved us. How could I ever try to forget my love for her? She didn't ever sleep with Kyle, I knew it. I love Liz. I told her so at the rocks, as we saw Tess leave this planet. I will never forget, and I will never let Liz go again.


May 22nd 2001
I knew it! I knew she didn't sleep with Kyle. Deep down in my heart I didn't want to believe it. This is just a sign that we were meant to be together. How could I have been so stupid to have slept with Tess? How will I be able to live with the fact that the mother of my son is a murderer. What type of person do you have to be to kill an innocent person like that. I wonder now what Kivar will do since she didn't meet her end of the deal? She did not, nor will not deliver us to him. I will save my son, no matter what. All I can focus on now is Liz. Will she take me back? Will things be different between us because of Tess. Only time will tell.


Jun 1st 2001
Okay so Liz is playing on my mind! I cannot eat or sleep i feel sick when i think of Tess. I'm not going to let this ruien my life though, I mean Kyle hasn't left his house sice we got back from the rock's. Isabel seem's very worried, She also seem's very angry inside and I'm worried about her. Michael and Maria are fine they have everthing they want- Each other! I may go and see Liz and talk to her, It felt right when i kissed her and I do Love her. I just need time to get my thoughts together.


Jun 4th 2001
I yelled at Liz, What am I thinking?? Liz came over and she'd been talking to Michael who'd advised her to come and tell me how she felt. She came in and all I could think about was how much Tess had hurt her and us and I took it out on her!! I'm a idiot.

I called Liz and tole her to come over again. I haven't really talked to anyone just Michael and Isabel but Is is worred about Kyle and is having fun with Maria. Liz is here and I don't know what to say!


Jun 4th 2001-Later
I still can't believe all that has happened. Every night, I toss and turn, thinking of Tess and the way she used us. How could she kill Alex? She ruined like months of my life with Liz. I've loved her since I layed eyes on her, and I always will, how could I ever think otherwise? Liz did put me through a lot of pain with the whole Kyle thing, but she only did it because she knew that my destiny was Tess. God, I can barely even write that. Its hard for me to even think about last year, and how close Liz and I were. I loved her so much, and I still do, but we've missed so much time together, and now that I slept with Tess, and have a son...I wonder if she will ever feel the way she used to about me. Who am I Kidding? It was me who ruined my relationship with liz, not Tess. I know that it isn't ruined, she knows that I love her, and I will love her, till the end of the world. I need to fix it all, I'm gonna go talk to her. I just, I just want to protect her, to comfort her, to love her. We will get back together, its inevitable. We are soulmates, there is no way I would've found her and end up losing her. She and I are meant to be, I know it, I've always known it.


Jun 5th 2001
Me and Liz may finaly be in a place we were two years ago. A new friendship and a new beginning!!!! I hope we will come though with fate on our side! Tomorrow i'm going out with Michael to play basketball while the girls go shopping! I'm going to the beach with the others next week which will be fun and maybe meant some open wounds that have been made bu Tess and Alex. Life has to go on and i'm going to live it the best I can! With My sister,My friends and the girl I love.


Jun 7th 2001
So tonight was fun Liz wasn't there but i think she has a fever or that's what Maria told me! We went over Maria's place and watched the Blair Witch project which scared the living crap outta Maria! She was was hiding her face from the T.V all night, Michael was hugging her and saying we should turn it off but Maria said no. Michael has become a new man since he met Maria and i'm pleased. Michael put Maria to bed die to her falling asleep when we started watching sixth sense and Kyle went and put rock's in her room!!!! Michael didn't know and just as me and Isabel were leaving we heard a scream, Michael went running into Maria's room and Kyle started laughing. Maria beat the crap outta Kyle while Michael watched on with a slight smile.
God for once it felt like were were just normal teenagers having fun!


Jun 14th 2001
Liz and I are really getting along and I was so thankful that we got a chance to talk on our trip to the beach! Michael and Maria and Isabel and Kyle enjoyed themselfs which we all needed. Me and Liz walked and talked for a long time and were finally not letting Tess ruien our lives. I am determind to find out if I have a son because i will find him and not let Tess raise him. I will find a way to get him if he exists.

Liz said she'll be behind me 100% which i'm happy about. I'm going to have a shower because i have sand in my hair.


Jun 16th 2001
WOW! Liz and I are actually back together. We talked for hours last night and we apologized for all those mean things we said to eachother. I can't believe I could've lost her forever. Tess IS going to pay for what she did to Alex. Liz is behind me on this, but I don't know what Liz will do when she finally sees Tess. Well, none of that matters now, what matters is that I have Liz and I actually know that we belong together. She is my True Destiny. I knew that ever since I saved her life, but will many things change because it was to Tess that I lost my virginity? Illllllll!!!!!!! to Tess. I can't believe it. I love Liz with all of my heart and we will never leave eachother's sides ever again.


Jun 22nd 2001
I had a great day today, Liz adn I went out for dinner, it was really special and I felt the happiest I have for as long time. I know she is the one I love and I am beginning to stop feeling so hurt over Tess's betrayal. I am now focused on my relationship with Liz and I know, some day I will have my son. Liz would be a great mom. I wonder what it would be like now if we had got married, seeing as Tess has gone away anyway? Well I suppose I should just focus on the future, my future with Liz. Oh and Liz and I are going out with Michael and Maria tomorrow night. Lets hope this double date is not as disatrous as the last one.


Jun 25th 2001
My date with Liz was great. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, she looked so beautiful. Infact I have onl;y just got home, her parents were out of town and I went back to her house. We had this great long talk and she said that if I ever found my son again she would support me all the way. She said she couldn't bare to lose me again and if it meant she had to be a mother to my son, then so be it. She is so great. I LOVE her.


Jun 29th 2001
Liz, Isabel, and all had a sleepover lastnight. Everyone knows that girls talk, about guys, about Michael, Kyle, and me. So when Isabel got home from Maria's this morning, I asked her what they talked about, and what Liz talked about. She wouldn't tell me. Maria won't tell me either. Liz and I are together now, but I still want to know what they said. I think Izzy just needs to have some fun with


Jul 1st 2001
I had a date with Liz last night. It was boring at first. We went to some fancy restaurant, because Isabel told me that it's what girls like. Apparently Liz is no ordinary girl, because she looked bored too. So I asked her if she wanted to go someplace else. We broke into a bowling alley. This is not like Liz, but she said that's where she wanted to go. We took off our shoes and slid on the bowling alley. It was actully fun. Then we went to her house and had food at the crashdown. We had to be quiet though, or her parents would've thought someone snuck in.


Jul 3rd 2001
I know how Liz knew how to break into the bowling alley. I overheard her telling Maria and Isabel at the Crashdown. Sean showed her how. Man I want to kick his ass for thinking he could date my Liz. And he seems to think he can still be with her as he was hitting on her at Maria's sleepover (I overheard that as well). Michael thinks I should go round and punch him, maybe I will, but Liz wouldn't like me doing that. I told Michael this and he said he would do it for me, which I would have accepted until he remembered that Sean was Maria's cousin and she would probvably with-hold a few


Jul 5th 2001
Well, Well. Last night was a big surprise. The girls surprise attacked us. Liz nailed me with shaving foam and I tickled her! LOTS OF TIMES! I kissed her and she got shaving foam on her face. She looked funny! I didn't tell her that though! ;) Today we pop firecrackers. I'm gonna get one that's personalized. Shh, It's a secret, I'm gonna get one that says, + Liz you are my dream girl! + She'll love it. Gotta go,
Max

9/12/2000
I'm Liz Parker, and my soulmate Max Evans has been destined for a very long time when he had a change of heart with the attraction to Tess he developed since we broke up on the day of his destiny and Tess thinks she was his new dream girl and I have not seen him since we broke up on that very day he was going to be destined. I knew I miss him a lot and I really want him back. We really want to reunite at all and why did he think that Tess was his young bride? I was supposed to be, not her. I think I should tell Tess to break up with him and we want to reunite so that I can replace Tess as his new young bride.


9/14/2000
I'm Liz Parker. I do really want to be Max's new young bride and I really would have been with him, not Tess. Whatever I told Kyle was that Tess became his first young bride, so that Kyle told Tess to get away from Max and she should get another destiny so that after that I became Max's new young bride and it really worked from just as it was from Kyle.


9/28/2000
I'm Liz Parker. I just don't believe I had to walk away from Max after I dumped him because of his destiny and Tess wouldn't let me win him back. What will I do if still don't get him back? I'll just have to find out and I would tell River Dog about Tess that took Max away from me, and he has answers.


10/01/2000
Today has been strange. The pain from losing Max has become more obvious to the people around me. I was with Maria at the Crashdown this morning, and when she said something funny, I accidentally called her Max. She gave me her knowing look. I hate that look.

When I left Max outside the pod chamber that day, the aching I felt was so terrible, I thought my life must have ended. In a way, I've been keeping the hurt inside. I feel like if I don't talk to anyone about it, I don't have to accept it. What can I do, though? It seems that Max was never meant to have a part in my life. Am I supposed to just move on? I can't. I can't move on. It still hurts too much.

I'm afraid of seeing him, afraid of running into him at the grocery store or at school. He knows me too well. One glance at me, and he'll know what pain he's caused me. He'll know about the silent tears that wet my cheeks every night. He'll see the misery that's lurked inside since that fateful day. I can't let him see me like that. It would kill him.

Max...oh, Max...what am I going to do?


10/02/2000
I'm Liz Parker. It has been one year since I got shot on the day September 18th, 1999, and then this man I know was Max Evans, he was an alien from his home planet that he healed me and changed me before we became soulmates.


10/09/2000
I'm Liz Parker. It had been 105 days since I had to run off after I had to leave Max on the day of his destiny and I had to leave for Florida for the summer when it happened. I really need some courage, and that would be a way to get him back.


10/22/2000
I'm Liz Parker. I knew that Max met me before Tess, that girl from his past who bugged me and she won't let me get him back. She gets on my nerves that I hate her so much. He had loved me since we were in 3rd grade. It was horrible that I miss him still and it had been 4 weeks since we broke up and there was no way I could get him back. If I could ask River Dog, he can tell me there is a way that I might try to get him back.


10/23/2000
Wow. Where have I been? I remember I saw Michael today and I think I saw Alex once but besides that everything is dark. What's happening to me? I miss my friends but I must keep up that cold exterior. No one must know that I hurt.


11/13/2000
After I learned that Max was destined to be with Tess, I tried to pull away, but Max was so determined, he wouldn't let me go. He was so persuasive, I was beginning to think that perhaps Max and I could beat the odds and be together. That night when he serenaded me with his Mexican love song, I knew I could no longer hold back. After all, Max did say that we make our own destiny. I wouldn't have imagined that this one belief would actually mean the end all hopes for our relationship. The weight of the world is literally resting on my shoulders, and for once, I wish I could just be a high school girl in love. It is cruelly ironic that my hopes of a future with Max, who's faith in our love never wavered, were in the end taken away by the same boy who fuels them. I cannot imagine living without the hope of being with Max in the future, I can no longer just be Liz Parker, high school student. I have gone from being Liz Parker, regular high school student, to Liz Parker, girl in love with an alien and keeper of secrets, back to Liz Parker, high school student. But the "regular" is about as out of this world as Max's home planet. Max, Maria, Alex, Michael, and Isabelle are the reason for waking up in the morning. Their survival has been my reason for living, and now that I have to step away, I don't know who I am anymore. I have come too far and seen too much, and nothing that was once significant means anything. I have been thrust back into a life I once embraced, without the boy I love, without any hope of being with him, and with the terrifying uncertainty that lies ahead.


1/1/2001
The weirdest thing happened today. Max came to my window. The weird thing is it was the future Max. I told you something weird happened today. Not that everyday is normal. Ever since that day Max saved me and made me live again nothing has been as it was before. Normal. Well future Max was hotter than ever.I knew Max would get cuter as he aged well future Max came to my window and told me I had to help him make Max (present one) to fall out of love with me. I almost choked. Make Max fall OUT of love with me. I know I want him to be happy and I walked away from him but I still love him. But future Max had a good reason in the future Max n I are together :) that makes me happy to know. Well a few minutes before he arrived at my window he held Michael in his arms while Michael died :( they were in a war and they had found out that without Tess they weren't so strong. Tess left because everyone was pushing her away. So because I love Max so much I tried to help him i talked toTess telling her I wanted to help her and Max get together. Her and Max were talking and me and the future Max were watching Tess said something that mad Max get mad he got up and he saw me. He looked really really mad but i guess he wasn't because he kissed me. It was so hard but I pushed him away. I went home and future Max was there telling me that that didn't work it just made me love him more. So I went to the Crashdown I talked to Maria but not about future Max about Michael she was so upset saying he looked so guilty she could never forgive him. It gave me an idea. But I had to talk to Kyle first. He agreed to my plan. He doesn't know why I am doing it. He thinks that Max must have really pissed me off. Like Max could ever make me even angry. Well the plan was to be in bed looking like we were.... well you know and when Max seen that he would fall OUT of love with me.:( Future Max said it wouldn't work but he saw wrong. Max saw us and he left without saying anything. The look of hurt in his eyes. I'll never get that image out of my!mind. Kyle left future Max came out and told me how much that hurt him. :( He had told me before that he and I had gotten married at age 19 I still think that was young but...now that I will never marry Max I think 19 would have been the perfect age to get married. Well I told future Max that I wanted my wedding dance. So we did. I danced and danced. I spun once,twice then he was gone. :( i wrote a poem about it here it is:

Still Playing
In your arms is where I find myself to be.
We're dancing.
Dancing to the most romantic song known to me.
I find myself feeling happier than I've ever felt before.
Then I spin
coming back to you
I spin again
only now you're not there.
I find myself alone.
Without you.
The song still plays. Still romantic
but sad too.
You see it's a song about this woman and this man who can never be.

I wrote another one too

Could You Give Up True Love?
Could you give your true love up?
Even if you knew it was for the best.
Could you live with the pain?
Cause it will never go away.
Could you live knowing how much you hurt the
only man you could ever love?
Could you marry another
knowing you will never love him?
If you hurt the man you love
but only for his sake
does that make it all right?
Can you live with the memory of him
knowing you two will never be together?
Could you?

This might just be my worst day yet. Losing Max by my own actions. Liz Parker


3/18/2001
Dear Journal,
I'm Liz Parker. And this weekend so far has been awful. I'm sitting here thinking about Max. He came into the CrashDown today with Tess. God, if Max is gonna come into my work place with Tess at least don't call me over to take his order. I acted mutual and cool, but I coudln't help noticing how much Tess was all over Max. It doesn't matter to me, because we all know who Max loves most, and it's me. I think maybe if I told Max about him coming from the future that maybe it would make him lossen off of Tess, and come more onto me. But what if I do tell him and he goes off to Tess even more? I'm so confused, I don't know waht to think or do about this problem. I don't. Liz Parker.


3/20/2001
Dear Journal,
I can't believe Max refuses to take me back and he's still attracted to Tess. Now we can't reunite and it's not fair why we have to break up and be separated months ago. I'll just find my way to make him break up with Tess, and he will apologize to me about breaking up.


3/27/2001
Dear Journal,
The day is March 27th and I died a year and a half ago. I was so jealous when Michael and Maria got together. But then I got with Max and everything was ok. But.. we broke up.. and it got bad. I envy Maria so much now. I mean she has an alien boyfriend and is friends with Max. And then Michael.. he has his own motorcycle. I wish Max owned a motorcycle. Mmmm he'd look so fine. But I wouldn't be on the back of it.. oh no he'd probably put Kyle before me. I am so obsessed with Max, I cant get him out of my mind. Like.. last week I broke into his house and stole his lucky horseshoe from his wall. Obsession. Obsession. Obsession. Buddha help me!

P.S. What do you think Isabel saw when she kissed Alex? That's always bugged me.


3/31/2001
Why did Tess have to come to Roswell? Sigh...I miss Max so much- I know journal what your thinking.


4/1/2001
Happy April Fools Day!
Well, at least that is what I feel like a...fool. Sometimes I wish I never met Max Evans. That I misjudged the simple values of being a small town girl, the merits of being normal.I thought Max and I had grown closer since Vegas but we haven't that miserable lie still stands between us. Yet, I know that even with all our problems I would never want to go back with not knowing. Alex,Maria,Kyle and I are apart of something amazing we know something that millions of people have pondered and either mocked or believed whole heartedly...So, where do I stand as of now I don't know... loss I guess...Even with all this at least I know that we all have a chance at survival...all of us,this time around.


4/6/2001
My name is Liz Parker and I'm in love with an Alien who thinks I slept with my ex boyfriend. Which I didn't... I made him think that so he could go with another alien and I did that because my love came from the future to tell me that in the future our love killed two of my best friends who also happen to be aliens. COULD MY LIFE BE ANY WORSE???


4/7/2001
Sigh........... Maria and I were walking around town the other day, looking in shop windows at the clothes that we could never afford, and in the glass I saw Max. I didn't turn around though, I know that he would hate that. He did see me, I'm sure of it, I saw his eyes look right at me, and then back to Micheal. I wish he could still come up to me, were suspose to be friends. I still love him and I always will. I wish he could say the same for me.


4/8/2001
Dear Journal, Today was one of the hardest days of my life, but i guess that's pretty hard to say because I have been saying that everyday since last October, when my world ended, when future Max came. God, I just want to tell Max the truth, about Kyle, why can't I just bring myself to do it? I Love him, I need him, I'm a wreck without him, and everyday I go on, and I just don't know how I make it trough the day without him. I must go on, but how?
-Liz Parker


4/11/2001
I'm Liz Parker and I am on the outside an all American straight A student girl, but on the inside, I hold secrets deeper and darker then probably anyone in Roswell, any human that is. Today I saw Max with Tess today, He was happy with her, I mean he should be she's destiny. God, I just miss him so much though I cry each night alone on the balacony where he saw Kyle and I. I cry everytime We Haven't Turned Around By Gomez comes on the radio, But I cry the most when I listen to I Shall Believe. Max doesn't know any of this, he thinks, god I don't even want to think of what he thinks of me. I feel like dying, and Sean isn't much of a comfort either, I mean yeah it's kinda nice to flirt and laugh once in awhile but it just hurts I don't know how to explain it all. I mean how am I supposed to live to go on. Everytime i see him with her I feel like crawling into a hole and dying.
-Liz Parker


4/22/2001
Dear Journal,
Lately I have been feeling worse than ever. There are so many things going on in my life right now....so many problems....unsolved problems....and so many hidden secrets that I have.Sometimes I find myself being swamped with overwhelming emotions.I know that things aren't what they seem to be with everyone right now.I find myself becoming even more independent and distant from Max,Maria,Alex,Michael,Isabel,Kyle,my parents,Tess,and the whole freaking town!The one person that has helped me not sink completely down the hole into depression is Sean.I am so grateful to have him!I don't know what I'd do if Sean wasn't around.When i saw Max and Tess kissing at the prom i knew that that would be the last time to let myself go through more misery with the pod squad.I want to be happy for a change.I refuse to let him and those ungrateful,selfish,uncaring aliens ruin my life and destroy my goals and dreams!I won't let them do this to me anymore!I am moving on!I am going to start focusing more on me for once and what I want.That's ! what I'll do!After i ran out of school,after witnessing the gerbil kissing who I'd thought to be my soulmate,i went to Sean at the bowling alley and we went.


4/24/2001
I'm Liz Parker and everyone thinks I'm crazy.Alex died yesterday and I know he didn't kill himself. Alex wouldn't do that. I know him better than anyone...he wouldn't do that. I tried to tell everyone that but they wouldn't believe me. No one believes me. Not even Max or Maria. I'm on my own now. There's no one for me to turn to now. My rock is gone. Some one took him from me, from us, and I'm going to find out who. Or what did. And they will pay. I have a promise to keep to my friend. I have many miles still to go...


4/24/2001- Continued
Just when I think that I might get some semblance of a normal life, fate turns around and slaps me in my face....But to be honest, I have had a gut feeling that something was going to happen....Back at prom, I could just feel it. Oh why did I have to see Max and Tess kiss....and why did I feel that it was just fortelling the future....Nothing last forever. Pain. Pain lasts. Pain in giving up the love of my life, pain in seeing others happy, but most of all, pain in seeing my life fall apart by the seams.

Alex is dead. Died in a car crash. And Max couldn't even heal him. Now everyone is telling me it was 'apparent suicide'. Alex dead, I can't even comprehend. It's like looking at your own gravestone, but you know you're alive. No. There is something wrong with that phrase....like 'we make our own destinies'. No. I can't think like that. I won't. There is something wrong with it. Everything is wrong. Why is it wrong? Nothing is making sense. In my confusion, and the turmoil of my life, I will find the truth. Come hell or high water, I will find it out! SUICIDE? It isn't even possible. I refuse to believe it. Every fiber of my body tells me there is something wrong with Alex's death.....Please, why do I always lose the ones I love? I can't think like that anymore. I refuse to. I will find out the truth, even if it KILLS me. I am coming up with some evidence, but nothing is helping clear the air...except...I am just getting this HUGE feeling that Alex's death is alien related....hmmmm. I feel like Alex is around me, just waiting for me to figure it all out, all the pieces to the puzzle....and I will, I swear on my life. But now, I can only hope that my life will be restored to rights.


4/24/2001- Continued
I just write and write and keep hoping it won't be true but it comes down to this...

Dear Journal,
It's April 24th and I am Liz Parker. I really don't know where to begin. So much has happened. I just can't even begin to believe, it must be a dream. However then I wake up and know that it is not. Alex is gone. I mean real gone. He died three nights ago in an automobile accident. The police and everyone else thinks he may have committed suicide. Maria and Kyle believe me. But I know better. I do believe he was murder. Whether or not if it was alien related I am unsure of, but if it was I will find out. I owe to my friend no matter what it costs. Max won't believe. I guess in a way you can say I was shocked. Max use to believe in me. I guessed all of that has changed. There really is nothing left to hold on to. But I'll tell you this much. I will not rest or sleep until I find out what really happened to Alex. I owe him at least that to find out what really happened. I have miles to go before I sleep and things to do before I rest.


4/28/2001
I've been praying that everything will fall into place with Alex's death. It's all that I can think about. I am just so angry right now, I feel that everyone has turned from me. I have to find some kind of evidence to link that picture of Leanna with Alex. Who would cut off his head like that. My first thougt was jealousy, and then, all I could think of was murder. I knew Alex for all my life, and he would NEVER kill himself. I went to the dump to check out Alex's car, it was almost by accident that I found that picture....or was it? I feel that the photograph is all I have to go on. I just have to think about this. I will find a way, don't I always?
Liz


4/29/2001
I have a promise to keep and miles to go before i sleep. I miss Alex. I miss Max. I'm so upset. I have no one. I hate my life. I need Max, but Tess put herself in the way of us again. I think I'm going crazy because of Alex. I have a promise to keep and miles to go before I sleep.
Liz Parker


5/1/2001
I just wanna cry. Max is being so mean to me and everyone else. Its like he's a completely different person. That's not the person I fell in love with. I think he's hiding something from me about Tess. I hate her and him at the time being. But, then again, i don't hate him. I just hate the way he's treating everyone lately. He needs to learn to deal with his issues. I wonder what ever happened to that therapy that Isabel said he was taking. Knowing him, he probably dropped out of doing it because he's so subborn. Well for now, my emotions are more confusing than ever. I wish that things would just get better NOW.


5/4/2001
Oh god my life really is falling appart what am i going to do now i cant go back to max because he is now with tess why oh why did my life have to be so complicated alex i miss you so much but i iwll find out the truth even without any of my so called friends help


5/8/2001
I can't believe it's happening. Max is falling out of love with me. The Max I knew would have never spoke to me the way he just did over at Valenti's. Tess actually spoke up for me too! Maybe she isn't all that bad of a person. That's more than I can say for Max. After all we've been through. One day he will know the truth.I gave up everything for him and Isabel, Michael and Tess.

Wonder how he'll react when Michael give him the translation and that it came from Alex all along.


5/16/2001
I'm Liz Parker and my life is falling apart. I can't be with Max because of his destiny and I'm still torn apart by alex's death. I just don't know what to do any more! I know Tess and max are getting closer (That makes me sick) and I'm getting closer to sean. But nothing or no one will ever take the place of Max! Maybe I should listen to the advice my grandmama gave me


5/17/2001
Dear Diary, I keep looking back at all the events that link up to today, from the very first moment Max and I connected. I have kept their secrets, and helped them, and yes, I told my best friends, because I knew that they could be trusted. Some things happen for a reason, and some, well, you don't expect them to happen at all. Like poor Brody for example, apparently he suffered electrical shock when he was trying out his virtual reality program. He opened up a part of his brain that humans don't actually used, and thus tapped into Larecks memories. That has to be really confusing, and then causing him to go berserk and hold Max, Maria, and Tess captive. Amy was there, and so was Sean. I wonder, if Tess 'erased' Amy's memory of what happened that night, then why didn't she just clear Sean's too? Well anyway, I managed to help him keep his mouth closed by agreeing to go out with him. Which is basically blackmail, but it's not entirely in the same context. I think! I'm getting used to sacrificing a lot these days. Maybe I'll get a break at college or something.
Liz


5/21/2001
I suppose that every single day of your life you have to go through tests to grow to be the person you are capable of being. This past year has been nothing but tests, for all of us. I've learned so many things today, last night, the past few days, that I'm trying in vain to process them all correctly. Leanna is not Leanna, she's human. Alex is dead, killed by Tess. Although Kyle was unwittingly a part of her plan too.

Tess has been brainwarping her heart's content to the chosen few of Roswell, NM. She Pregnant. She's hopefully, at Antar now. Max knows that I never slept with Kyle, but it hurts that he slept with her. That's what I wanted though right? It's still hard to imagine that they were, or (are)? married none the less though. Max didn't leave to Antar, neither did Isabel, or Michael. It was their one chance to go in the granilith, and they didn't leave, they decided to stay with us. So now I have Max, Maria has Michael, and Isabel has the truth about Alex, and Kyle, well now he know's the truth about his 'sister'.
It has been said that we live for today, and tomorrow is a dream, today, I live for tomorrow, and pray that yesterday was just a dream.
Liz


5/22/2001
Max came by today. My heart still aches when I see him. He wanted to talk. He actually apoligized to me for the whole Alex situation. We didn't really say a whole lot. We just looked into each other's eyes to say it all. I still love him. I can't help myself. Even after he told me about Tess. I was angry at first, but who can blame him. I pushed him to her.

What happens now? I mean Tess is gone. How will they ever get home? All I know is that Max still loves me, but will it be enough?


5/24/2001
I'm Liz Parker. I'm so confused about everything, esspecially about what's going to happen between me and Max. I love him, and I know he loves me, but when he said he wished it could all be different I know that it could have been. I know that I could have prevented my heartache, and Alex's death, by not listening to the future Maz, but if I hadn't it would have resulted in the end of the world anyway. I agree with Max, I just wish that things could be different, and everything to be back the way it was before Tess came to Roswell.
Liz


5/29/2001
I really don´t know if I did the best thing in changing the future. Now Alex is dead, Tess escaped with Max´s son. And I gave up everything with Max, our marriage, our night together. Max changed me that day in the Crashdown . I felt so different . I see things in a different way and I can see things nobody, even Max, can see. I feel powerful.
Liz


5/30/2001
I have always loved Max, even when I pretended I didn't care about him. I only pretended to sleep with Kyle to save the aliens. I wish I could change the past. If I could, I would have told Max about Future Max in Las Vegas.

I wish I could actually marry Max. Maybe someday. Now, with Tess gone, maybe I can rebuild my friendship with Max and make up for all the lost time.

Since we kissed that night, I have been remembering what it felt like to be with Max. I remember how warm & safe I felt in his arms. I wish that somehow I could get all of that back. Max told me that I was his destiny. If that's true, then we must end up together.

I am so glad that Max didn't go home. I would have felt like I was missing a part of myself. We had so many great times. Max & I were so close a year ago. If only I knew how to tell him the way I feel about him. If only I knew he felt the same way about me...


6/1/2001
I'm Liz Parker and i'm confused.
Maria decided we needed girly bonding so we went to the Mall, She thought it would take my mind off Max! Maria is such a good person who loves her friends but i really need to think about Max. Maybe I should go over there ans see if Max is okay, H said he need's to figure things out and I don't blame him it's just that KISS! I belive Max is my soul mate and I guess if we are ment to be together we will, But fate has a way of showing it's ugly head at the wrong time! I am envious of Michael and Maria but I am happy for them. It's about time they shared some happiness. I saw Kyle he look's in pretty bad shape, Tess is not worth the paper this is written on but what she did and the pain she has caused will never be forgotten!!!

Anyway my shift it's late and all that talking with Maria tired me out! Maybe for once I hope that fate will be on all of our sides.


6/4/2001
I'm just trying to get my head sorted out. Ok, Max told me that he loved me, which I get, but I just don't know if its true. I mean, he did sleep with the mind-warping-bitch, and it hurts me that he did that. I know it was me who led him to it, but it still hurts. I can only imagine how he felt when he thought I slept with Kyle....I hate myself so much sometimes knowing what I put him through, and really, did it actually do any good? I can't see anything that it helped. Alex is dead. Was it my fault then? I changed the future...did that cause it? Oh god........Well, at least Max now knows that I didn't sleep with him, I just wish he knew the whole story. I want to tell him how much pain I was in when I did that. It hurt me too. I hope that it works out between us. I want to be with him so bad, I love him. I feel bad saying this, but its not just 'him' that I miss, its the way he made me feel. His arms protected me, through everything, and when we were waiting for the ship to take off at the pods, I felt so safe again. I've tried to stop loving him, I tried so hard, but I can't stop. He's my soulmate, forever.


6/4/2001- Later
I have been crying on my bed since i got back from Max's! He told me to go and that he couldn't stand to see me!! Michael and I really talked for the first time today and it was nice!! Michael isn't all bad Maria is right and i'm happy for them. Liz Paker and Max Evans are not meant to be! Noooooo I don't mean that coz i know we are! Max will call and say sorry and we'll talk it through! I know he will.

Yes he called i'm going over there now!


6/5/2001
Last night was great, Me and Max talked for about three hours straight about EVERYTHING! we cryed,we kissed, we talked,we yelled! But the end result was us hugging. Max and I are going to start over and if things lead to us being together again then so be it!

I called Maria and told her about it as soon as I got home, I think i interuppted something!! Maria said she was happy for me and I got a huge hug from her when we started our shift at the CrashDown! Michael gave me a hug ?!?!?!?!!? It was shocking, Maria told him to I think! Michaels funny ! Anyway were all going to the beach at the weekend, It's the first group outing in a while that doesn't involve running from aliens!! I'm looking forward to it!


6/6/2001
Dear Diary,
It is June 6th and I guess you must be wondering what is going on inside my head. Is there such a pain that you can't feel anymore? It grows throughout your entire body until you are a spectator of your own life. You see all your mistakes and though its your life, you are powerless to stop the pain because you are an observer instead of a participant. I just wish that the pain could be felt so I knew that I was still alive.


6/14/2001
Hay i'm back from my fun filled trip with my friends and the love of my life Kyle - Only kidding Max!! Myself and Max had a good talk many infact and i realise we will be together because its our fate. I'm behind Max's search 100% but the idea that I might have to see Tess again makes me sick and Maria will have to be held back as will myself and Isabel and Michael and Kyle!!! Maria says her and Michael are sooo in love and he is being the perfect girlfriend, Maria seemes to get along well with Isabel which kinda made me jeaslous but i haven't been a good friend latley and thats going to change! I mean that!


6/21/2001
Dear Journal,
I've always been this small town girl, perfect with everything. Great grades, great friends, great parents. You could say that life was great. Then Max Evans saved me and risked everything. Michael, Isabel, and himself. Well You already know all that but I was pulled into this weird circle. It involved Isabel, Michael, and Max. Then I pulled Maria in. Then Alex. Then Kyle followed, as did his dad, the Sheriff. Alex is the one I regret pulling in. He's dead now. If I had shut my mouth and not told him anything, he wouldn't be dead now. He would be alive, breathing and cracking jokes. I miss you Alex! Please come back. I found out that Tess killed Alex. The blonde shit head. I gave her everything. I gave her Max. I saved the world and pushed Max towards her. She rewards me by killing my sweet Alex. My best friend, my brother. Nothing can bring Alex back because the granolith is gone for forever. that stupid blonde was sent back to her planet. One day though, Tess will be back, and when she is...she'll have to face me. I may look innocent but who says I am? Max wants me to help get his son back. Fat chance. I love Max but he slept with my enemy. He slept with someone who killed my best friend. I don't know if I can forgive him. Thank you Journal, for always listening to me, and for always being there for me. You remind me of Alex so can I call you that? From now on I will title you Alex....bye for now my friend, bye for now.
Liz


6/22/2001
I am so happy, it's as if Tess never came to Roswell, but I will never forget what she did to us all, especially Alex. Max is so sweet, but I know he is worried about his son. His son, not Tess's, she is not fit to be a mother. I f he finds his son, no WHEN he finds his son, I wonder if he will want me to be his mother. You know, I think I would, it would bind us together. Michael and Maria are getting on fine, we're going out with them tomorrow night. Oh my god, I can finally say we again, because Max and me are a pair forever. No matter what. Nothing can come between us anymore, I won't let it. Not even if Tess comes back. She would be stupid to come back, Max and Micahel wouldn't have to do anything. Maria, Isabel and I would get revenge ourselves. Isabel for losing her Love (I know how that feels) and Maria and I for losing our best friend.


6/25/2001
Max is so wonderful, I LOVE him so much. When I told him I would be his son's mother he cried. We had this massive heart to heart and I don't think I have ever felt so loved. I think Maria feels the same way about Michael.


6/29/2001
Ok. I had a LOT of fun last night. Isabel and I slept over at Maria's house. It was TOTALLY fun. Izzy and Maria are like my best friends. We talked a lot, especially about Max, Michael, and Kyle. See, I wasn't that comfortable talking about Kyle, since I used to date him, but it was OK. I think Kyle ad Isabel should go for it. I mean I know Izzy fell inlove with Alex, but she has to move on, and I think she's starting to get feelings for Kyle. I guess humans just aren't attracted to other humans, and aliens aren't attracted to other aliens. Weird, huh? See, you can thnk you'refalling for one of your same species, when you really aren't. Ok, that comment was a little far-fetched. I'm starting to sound like Maria, no offense to her or anything. I like spending time with Max, I love him, but I also enjoy spending time with Maria and Isabel, cause I can giggle. When's the last time I've giggled anyway? Junior High? The other day, at the Crashdown, when Maria and I were on break, Izzy came up to us to talk. I got in a giggling fit, right when Max came in. It was embarrassing, but it was fun. LOL. Well I g2g. I have a date with Max in about an hour, and I have NO idea what to wear! Later.
~Liz


7/1/2001
Max and I went to thisboring expensive fancy restaurant on our date last night. Then he asked if I wanted to go someplace else. I said +the bowling alley+ he said +it's closed+ I said, +I know+ We slid on the bowling aisle. it was fun. And even though Sean was more of a trouble maker and I had fun with him, I had even more fun with Max. Maybe because I'm inlove with Max. At Maria's sleepover, Sean ket hitting on me. I didn't like it at all. Maybe because I'm no longer single. I also recall Sean saying +I don't eat off another man' taco platter.+ that was obviously a lie. g2g. Maria, Izzy, and I are going on another girl's night out. The guys (Michael, Max, and Kyle) do stuff while us girls are out also.


7/3/2001
I'm going to Isabel's this weekend, her Mum and Dad are going to be away. I just heard that Max has invited Michael and Kyle over the same day so us girls should have a great laugh spying on them and playing tricks on them. I can't wait. Maybe we could all join up together after the jokes and then I could spend the night lying in Max's arms. That would be great. Well I've got to go. Isaberl, Maria and I decide that if the boys we like are going to see us in our night clothes, we had better get something to knock them dead.


7/4/2001
It's Fourth of July and I'm Liz Parker. Well, well. Last night was a BLAST! I nailed Max with shaving foam. Then he started tickling me. Oh, I had so much fun. We got to Izzy's earlier than the boys- as usual, they are so late. We put on our sleeping clothes and it was 8:00 p.m. We pretended to watch a video when the boys realized we were in Izzy's room. Max saw me and his jaw just dropped- literally. Hehe. We had fun though. However, I don't know if I imagined this or not, I saw Alex, watching over us. Maybe I'm just dreaming. I do that sometimes. But today we get to pop firecrackers!!! And drink Apple Cider. Sparkling Apple Cider. Gotta go, Maria and Izzy are here. We are going shopping- groceries.
Liz

Sept 25 2000
Oh diary...so many things are going through this pretty head of mine.Alex? or Michael? How can I be betrothed/ destined to be with Michael when I've felt like his sister for so long? If Max is the leader why can't he just say that I can be with whoever I want and he can be with whoever he wants. Shouldn't it be about how we feel not about our "destiny" I mean I'm Isabel, I can save our planet and still have a nice relationship with Alex! And poor Maria and Liz, they stuck by us through everything and we're just gonna say "bye" because our "mother" said so...i think not, I may be an alien, but I was born on earth and teenagers are known to rebel against their parents...so when on earth, do as the earthlings would do...REBEL!!


Nov 15 2000
I should've told Max about the Vilandra Project. Why must the same lines keep pounding through my head? "You were even more beautiful than you are now." What the hell did that mean? I'm Isabel Evans, the hottest girl at West Roswell. Maybe I need a new hair style. Should I get a new wardrobe? I'm so depressed. I think I'll go shopping!

P.S. Did I really have secret meetings with that twirp, Nicholas, as Vilandra? Yes, I need to shop!


Jan 5 2001
Today was horrible I haven't seen Alex in the longest time. Sometimes I sneak into his dreams to see if he still thinks of me. I am happy to say that he does.Even though he isn't popular I think he and I should become an item like Max and Liz. Well like they were. Poor Max. I don't know what happened to him that day he went to Liz's house to win her over but he has been moody. Very depressed. I feel so sorry for him. And Liz she looks like she has lost the love of her life. With the way those two are acting I think one of them screwed up. But everytime I bring it up with Max he just ignores me and changes the subject. There's a rumor that Liz slept with Kyle Valenti but I know that that's impossible. The only one Liz wants to be with is Max. Its a silly rumor. But I heard Max say that there is truth to every rumor. That can't be for this one though ....could it?


Mar 13 2001
Wow, this is harder to admit than I thought...I think I made a mistake letting Alex go. When I was dancing with him in Vegas- it was like my world was righted. I'm really messed up. I don't know what I was thinking...trying to sleep with some guy I didn't even know. But there he was...Alex...waiting for me to wise up. What if it's too late? What if he's finally said good-bye?


Mar 14 2001
My world is spinning out of control and the only thing I'm almost positive about is that I love Alex.


Mar 15 2001
Tess, Maria and I went shopping today. I managed to keep my big mouth shut and not ask what Alex was up to. I'm becoming so obsessed! What's wrong with me? Well...at least I did find the cutest shoes so it wasn't a total bust!


Mar 25 2001
I never used to have a diary before I met Liz. I wounder what I would be like if Alex had never known the truth... if Liz hadn't told him. Will it matter in the end? If Alex never found out, then would I be with Michael, once i found out about my destiny? Will history repeat itself? Will I end up betraying everyone? Arrrg! I have to stop asking myself about that! I am not Volandra! Or am I? I am so confused... I feel like i am spinning and I just can't stop.is this howi felt before i went to kavar? At first i sort of wanted to follow my destiny, to be with Michael... even though he felt like a brother to me, in my dreams it just felt right. That was before i really knew alex, before i realized that i loved him. I do love him, i have to stand up and follow my own destiny, make my own destiny. but how, how can i do that? liz left max, michael and maria are always having problems. what would happen if i went to alex and then somehow max, michael, and tess told me that i had to follow my destiny, the one that was prearranged for me. No, i could never hurt alex like that... but what about max and michaeal... i love them, they are my family. well? answer me! where are you now, when i need you, mother!? were are you... how could you leave us, leave me! i want answers!you have to tell me what to do, before i make the wrong choice.
always,
isabel


Mar 31 2001
My life is spinning out of control. Does Alex still love me? Because I certainly love him...why can't everything just go right??? Thats the story of my life...sigh...
Isabel


Apr 24th 2001
It can't be true, I keep telling myself that it isn't. I just realized how much I loved him. I finally found someone I could be totally happy with, and not keep secrets....


Alex was everything I secretly longed for. Why did he have to die....If I hadn't called him, if I hadn't talked to him and tried to get him to be with me tonight, he wouldn't have gotten into the car, and died in the accident. IT'S NOT FAIR. I just wanted to love him forever. I am crying, as I write this passage, my tears fall over my words, and everything just blurs.....Max couldn't heal him, and bring him back to me.....I feel as if I have just died....I was so happy, and I know he was too. What I would just give, for one moment, just one more kiss, one more day, to say everything that I didn't. I'll dreamwalk. I will see him there. But it's not the same. It will never go back to the way it was. We were going to be so happy. I can't stay here, everything I had a future for is dead....I am going to leave....graduate early, and forget everything...I'll be okay...someday. Alex, I will forevr love you.
Isabel


Apr 29th 2001
Okay..... it's not my fault, it's not my fault! Wait, yes it is..... Alex died because of me. What did I do? I know I should be over this, but I just can't, I just can't.... I can't let go of the past. Every time I see his face in my dreams, every time I FEEL like I'm kissing him then, it's all just some lie that is hurting me more then helping me.... And Liz- how can she say these things? I'm feeling the weight on my shoulders enough, with Alex's death, and the Kivar thing.... I'll tell Liz it wasn't a suicide. I'll tell her who killed Alex... me! But now it's just us 4 now, the way it should have been. I should've made it stay that way, and this would've have never happened to Alex... it will always be my fault, always....
Isabel


May 6th 2001
I can't sleep because when I sleep all I think about will be Alex. All I can ever think about is him. Why? What did he ever do that made him deserve this? Why did I let him go without telling him I love him. My mom syas that soon, the grief will stop. The greif will never stop, I'll never stop being sad for Alex. People are saying to me I need to get on with my life but how can I get on with my life without him?


May 8th 2001
You know, Max can be such a jerk at times. I have much worse words to call him, but I won't repeat then for the sake of him being my brother. It wouldn't kill anyone to let me go to San Francisco. You would think I was asking the world from him. I know that if he tells mom and dad I'm doing drugs, I'd have to get a drug test, which would expose us all. But how would he get proof that I cheated on every one of my tests? With his powers? He has just gone so low. No wonder everyone hates him now. I can't even speak to him right now. Why did he have to be the leader? Things would go so much easier if Michael were...


May 22nd 2001
Tonight, I sit on my bed, and I look around in my room, and I can never imagine leaving this home. Isn't it funny how we made such a big deal of our 'home' being out there, and couldn't wait to leave earth. We almost left this morning in the granilith. Michael was the one to say that he didn't want to go. I looked at Max. I didn't want to leave either. It turns out that we didn't leave. Except Tess. She's gone, with Max's child. I say Max's child, and not hers, because after what she did to us....She doesn't deserve to be called anyone's mother. She's not even human, or Antarian, or whatever is out there. How could she ever do such a cold hearted, EVIL thing? She killed a person! Alex! And then she walks around like she's in mourning, looking sympathetic?! I just wish I could get my hands on her. Look of all the pain that she has caused us. Why did we never see it? Brain warping? She made Kyle unwillingly, okay, virtually, unknowingly be a part of the murder. How does someone get away with that. I swear, if I ever see Tess Harding again, here, or on some distant planet, she will regret the day she crossed us.


June 1st 2001
Kyle,Kyle,Kyle I spend the day with him trying to coax him out to the CarshDown. He's hurting mayne the most at the moment! Tess was like his sister and what she did to him, She made him carry Alex's body-

Hay I couldn't write before the thought of Alex's dead body up-set me. Kyle will always have the pain in his heart of Tess and Alex, I was looking at our prom picture before all of us standing there happy. Tess was a fake and she fooled us for all this time GOD I hate her and if i ever see her again I will hurt her! Maria and I were talking yeasterday, She is a great girl and maybe i was wrong about her being all high strung and i actully listened to her and she speaks the truth. Maria and me are going to go run her mom's shop tomorrow (Why) But Maria asked and maybe it would be good for our friendship. Kyle need's to try and carry on I just got a call from him asking if i could come over and watch WWF With him as Jim is out with Amy. I guess i'd better go over and I wouldn't mind some company.


June 4th 2001
Okay I've decided taht i need to focus on myself for a while! Kyle has sort of been taking up my time!! Me and Maria looked after her mothers shop yeasterday, She does balb on but Maria is cool and isn't that bad, She did go into a little too much detail about her and spaceboy - As Maria calls him- Love life. We took Kyle to the Mall today and Kyle has taste (Maybe he's gay. Max said he got really angry with Liz god get over it max. I love Max he's my brother but he shouldn't treat Liz like that! Great Liz is here again, Is she trying to cause herself pain.


June 5th 2001
So today I had the day to my-self and it was kinda loonley! Maria called and i offered to take her and Liz shopping! I mean we are going to the beach and we need bathing suites!
Oh god my aunt sally's here I better go!


June 25th 2001
Sorry I haven't wrote for so long, my life hasd just been so busy. We went to the beach and stayed there for 3 days. Max and Liz are back together and life is going to normal, except Alex is not here. I have got much closer to Kyle, we both seem to be going through some stuff. I think we could be great friends.


June 29th 2001
I had sleepover with Liz and Maria at Maria's house, lastnight. Sean kept coming in and interrupting, he is SO annoying, that freak. He's always trying to hit on Liz. Liz is already going out with my brother. OK, it's kind of annoying, one o my best friends going out with my brother. But she fell inlove with my brother before she became my friend, so it's kind of fair. She also asks me questions about Max. Like +does max ever talk about me?+ and I say +only all the time.+ I miss Alex, but hanging with Kyle is fun. I despise Tess, for lying to me. Pretending she was on our side, pretending she was our friend. Liz never liked Tess, but she never tough of Tess as a killer.

10/22/2000
I just don't believe that Izzy has to save her home planet because of her destiny with Michael and does she miss me? I hope so she really does miss me.


10/23/2000
Today was kind of rough. First I was dying of thrist and all I wanted to do is surrender to the Orange Soda Gods, but was that happening? Heck no! The machine ate my frickin' money. So, next I had gym. No orange soda and gym. I dress out and totally forget that I still had that damn thong on! I'll forever be known among the jocks as Thong Man Whitman. Ok, that brings me up to Dodgeball. Here's a sport I can handle or at least I thought so...until Isabel walked by and I was knocked out literally. I came to about 5 minutes later with half of the gym laughing it up. UGH, it was rough.


11/15/2000
I had the weirdest experience at the Crashdown a few days ago. I was there & my food was nice and warm. The next minute I felt lightheaded and my food was hard as a rock & had more bites taken out of it than I had ate. To top it all off Valenti came in and gave me a heart to heart. If I didn't know better I would think that all the humans disappeared only to be saved by Tess and Maria. Hmmmmm.... nah! Must've been food poisoning!


1/5/2001
I saw Isabel today. Not as any other person would though. She dream walked again. I made sure that I was there waiting for her.I know that she likes me and that she wants something with me but she just won't give us a try. What if one day I get over her and I am dreaming about some other girl and she dream walks. That would be the worst. Though it will probably never happen since she is the pretties girl I've ever know. I wonder what is going on with Liz and Maria. I haven't talked to them in the longest time. But I've been hearing rumors that Liz and Kyle slept together.But I know that couldn't even be a possiblity. Liz loves Max and she would never even WANT to sleep with Kyle. Maria and Michael well they are too much. They're a couple on day then the next they are bitting off each others throats. Izzy and me willnever be like that. Probably cause we will never get together. But I still have hope. Max is always saying to Liz "We make our own destiny" well that can apply to me too. I am gonna make my destiny. My destiny will be with Izzy.I just hope that Maria and Liz make their own destiny with Max and Michael in it. If they can. If I can. This is a mess humans and aliens its weird. Who would have thought that me, Liz, and Maria would fall in love will aliens. Certainly not us.I will keep you posted.
Alex


1/8/2001
I just got back from Sweden. I bet the Swedish girls are still missing the Alex love. It was amazing...I mean yeah, the country was beautiful but the girls...they really dug me. It was so weird when I got back. Roswell was almost foreign to me. Isabel Evans? I think I'm finally over her.


3/14/2001
Ok, so I had a slight relapse after the Las Vegas trip. I mean, I stood there & tried to act all cool when Isabel was HANGING ON ANOTHER GUY but come on...let's face it, the girl IS the love of my life. Just holding her in my arms...it brought back the old Alex's dreams of dating her. So, what did I do after Las Vegas? I've wrote 15 love songs dedicated to her. The Whits (even though IT'S MY BAND) are threatening to kick me out but it's like I have no control over myself. I've gotta get her out of my mind!! I WILL get her out of my mind... Well, gotta go...I've ran out of sheet music...


4/8/2001
I just read some past entries and I said I was over Isabel. How wrong could one guy be? I light up everytime shes near. Just thinking about her makes me :)


4/12/2001
Prom is coming up. I thought about asking Is for old times sake. Nothing like a date...completely like an undate. Just me, her and the stars...or I mean, just us like friends under the stars. You know, nothing that would imply the old Alex is back and looking to kiss her feet again. Plus there's what's her name in Sweden...Lisa...Laura...Leanna! Yeah, can't start being a player.

Speaking of Sweden...it all just seems like a dream now. Even the Olsens are kind of fuzzy.


Greetings from the Great Beyond

4/24/2001
Ok, I didn't exactly plan to die. Yeah, I heard the whole Valenti version. Suicide. Alex Charles Whitman kills himself after finally landing girl of his dreams. Let's be realistic, shall we? I'd never have killed myself. Maybe I didn't have the most confidence in the world...let's say I wasn't Michael in that department BUT I never thought about suicide even when I was at my lowest point so suicide now? When Isabel finally loves me...no.

So what happened? I don't know and it's really frustrating. I remember Maria & Liz being over and then leaving but after that it's a blur. Yeah, I read the report over Max's shoulder. I ran into a truck going 70mph. Why the hell did I leave? don't remember that at all. I'm kinda glad cause it sounds like I was really messed up if Max didn't want to touch my body. Not very nice of him to say though.

Where am I? Here. Where is here? I don't know cause I don't seem dead. I mean my logical mind says that I am. Hell, I read the report...I was at the funeral...I've been with the group and my parents as they grieved...but am I really dead? I don't feel dead. I can still see everyone & touch them & talk to Isabel. They know on some level I'm there. Isabel and Liz more than the others. I'm gonna have to walk with Liz as she tries to find out what happened. I need to know myself.

Speaking of Liz, I'm proud of her. I knew I was lucky to have her and Maria as friends. God, I just wish I could tell them that. Poor Maria looks devastated. Even gone I feel guilty about that.

And Isabel...I couldn't resist letting her dreamwalk me. Just because my physical body is gone doesn't mean I stopped existing. I let her believe it was a dream...I know she needs to move on but I had to be with her. It'll be an eternity before we'll be together again if I'm truly dead. When I felt her tears and kissed her lips I felt real. I realized it was going to tear me apart if I kept it up as well as her.

I'm learning quickly. I'm not limited to being a shadow by their side. Within a secret file on my former web site I'm leaving these entries. Hopefully someday when Isabel is stronger and the memory of me isn't so painful she'll find these entries and know I was with them all along and will continue to be.


5/3/2001
This is the first chance I've had to update the situation. I've been keeping tabs on everybody as much as I can but sometimes my mind wanders and I'll end up somewhere else. Like once I was thinking of France and how I'd never get to go and bam! There I was sitting in the middle of the Seine. Even though I couldn't drowned I was still a little freaked out. So, I have to keep my mind focused.

As Liz searches I'm remembering more. Just bits and pieces but it's enough to know she's on the right track. The rest of the group has disappointed me...leaving her to fend for herself. I can understand Maria and Michael since Maria is a basket case and Michael's involved with that but what about Max?

I decided to check him out and ended up somewhere I never want to end up again. Max rubbing Tess's feet. There are just somethings that shouldn't been seen and that's one of them. But nice to know Max isn't too broken up over my death.

I'm glad Isabel is staying firm about college. I just wish she knew I was on her side...


5/20/2001
Go Liz, and Maria,and Michael... she finally found out what I was doing when I was supposed to be in Sweden. But what about my killer? Or why I killed myself? It's kind of werid being up here in the Great Above and still not knowing what truly happened to me.


5/24/2001
It all makes sense now as to how I died! Today I decided to follow Liz and Max around while they looked for clues about how I died, and tried to identify who Leanna is. I was there when I saw Liz and Max discussing their relationship problems. Why don't those two just get over it already! Well, I guess with Tess's child and all it may be kind of difficult-anyway back to my to the mystery of my death. It turns out that Leanna was not an alien, she was human (maybe someone sert her up) and she was innocent. In the end, it turns out that Tess killed me. I would've never known if it wasn't for Liz's noticing the odd hand tapping thing, or Kyle's memory finally kicking in. As it turns out, Tess mindwarped me for two whole months, making me think that I was in Sweden, when in reality I was in Las Cruces decoding that alien book for her. Then when I realized what was going on and confronted her she tried to mindwarp me again. I guess my brain couldn't handle it, there was nothing left to mindwarp and as a result of me refusing to allow her into my mind I fell over in an exhasted heap, dead. When Tess had realized what she did, she mindwarped Kyle into believing that he was throwing her dufflebag into the car, when really it was me. Then she made the whole car accident look like a sucicide. Now that I've finally realized what happened to me I'm so proud of Liz and Kyle, and of Isabel too. I hope that she doesn't blame herself for being an alien or for my passing into the Great Beyond.
Alex


6/6/2001
Well, I'm keeping an eye on them. I think they sense on some level I'm still here. I talk to Izzy sometimes. But I make sure she won't remember. Subconciously she probably does. Who knows? I've been doing a little supernatural sight-seeing.Plus I've been helping some famous bands-like Lifehouse write some songs lol. Anyways, back to watching the gang.


6/29/2001
I visited Isabel in her dream last night. She was at Maria's. They were giggling and gossiping all night. Those crazy kids. I miss them. I'm glad I got to hear them laugh. I watch over them all the time. And this is one of the few times they've smiled. I'm happy for max and Liz getting back together. Back to Izzy's dream. I told her to move on. She needs to. She can't spend her whole life thinking about me. In ways, we're still together, because I died, and we never broke up. In other ways, we're over, because I'm dead, and she's a free human. Besides, there are some hot angel chickies up here anyway. I still love Iz though, and she's hotter than any of these angels!


7/1/2001
Watching over the gang. I wish I could just visit at least the girls, like everynight. But I have things to do up here, but we won't get into that. And if any of the humans read these entries, then they'll probably freak out. That's why I lock it. When Liz found a locked file, it was my diary. Well see ya.


7/7/2001
Hmm, watching over the gang, I overheard the guys and gals are gonna be in the same house during the same night. ooh, this should be good. I wonder what the girls will do. Ooh, must jet, I have a couple assignments to do.
Beloved Alex


7/13/2001
OK. I just love watching the gang. They are sooo funny. Today they dumped water on Max and Liz, then Max and Liz got back at them. Man! You should've seen their faces. And you know why Im in such a good mood up here? Because they still have Orange Soda up here!!!!!! Isn't that great! I mean, why would I be resting in peace, if the didn't have orange soda? I mean... go figure. well I've gotta go. See, I get orange soda for free up here. which is even better. Apparently..... there is no such thing as the orange soda god. But that's ok. No one has to worry about li'l ol' me though. As long as I've got my OS, and get to watch Izzy having fun, I'm fantastic.


7/22/2001
Note to self: Always double check room numbers! I almost saw much more of Kyle than I wanted to see when I morphed in on him changing after going to the beach. If I was able to turn a more ghostly white I definitely...definitely would have then. Gotta go. The angels and I are up against Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Elvis Presley and a few others in a game of (thumbs up) dodgeball. Elvis always cheats.


7/27/2001
So, the game was great! I acctually managed to beat that cheating, lying, not-very-good-singer, worse king than Max ever could be (Elvis)! I was very proud of myself as I was the best player there, if I do say so myself.

I got the privliage of speaking to God today. As we were talking (he didn't say much of intrest- he dosn't talk much) I happened to notice the records lying open in the desk. It was in the V's section and I noticed Valenti's name- he is OLD!!! I'm supprised he hasen't died of heart attack or stroke from the whole 'alien' stuff he went though. Well, gotta jet, it's time for Isabel to take a shower- he he he.
Alex


8/16/2001
Sometimes I wish I could really talk to Isabel. I mean I love where I'm at, don't get me wrong. Where else could you have unlimited supply of orange soda, my friend? There's just so much I'd like to tell her. Things that I know now that I didn't know before. I always thought Isabel was beautiful inside and out but now I know. When I see the gang I see every part of them. Their hopes, fears, love, concerns...I see who they are. Maria glows. I mean literally she glows. Especially around Michael... even when they are fighting:) And Liz...there's like this steady hum around her. It's like this sweet and sad song. Isabel...she just pulsates. It comes right out of her soul. I just wish I could tell her how much energy she has and how no one can stop that. She seems so lost.

It's hard sometimes being on the outside looking in. We aren't sad here but there's still a part of me that misses them. It's not a sadness but an absent part. Something you know won't be filled for a very long time. I've been talking to Saint Peter lately. He thinks I might be eligible for the Angel-Assistance program. He looked over my life- pitifully small book until you get to the pod squad years and he believes my life was selfless enough to help out the gangs guardian angels. Obviously a human can't be an angel but this is the next best thing. I can kind of help out. It'll be like being a part of them again. It beats this ghost gig I have to do when visiting earth. I'll keep you updated.


8/20/2001
Oh my god, oh my god! (excuse the phrase, god.) I, many moments earlier, bumped into someone I always wanted to meet! The inventor of orange soda! I got his autograph, but I dropped it on a cloud, and it fell through, all the way to earth. I don't even remember his name. But I love orange soda. you know what though? I was hanging at my grave, hoping Izzy would come, and she did! She brought Liz too. (Maria couldn't come, I guess) anyway, I couldn't talk to them, cause they couldn't see me. That made me sort of sad. I mean I was already sad about the orange soda autograph, you know? I was so sad, I wentback to my cloudy home, and watched Gilmore Girl reruns. Man that show is good. It's funny. (reruns I taped, by the way) don't worry about me. I get orange soda, TV, a spa, a swimming pool, pizza, and SOOOOO much more up here. My dead friend, Skippy, was teaching me how to fly today. Tomorrow I'm teaching him how to d that thing with my arms, where I cross my arms, and put them over my head. He's short and skinny though, so I'm not sure he'll be able to do it. I g2g. Skippy and I are throwing a party for God today!

Sept 20th 2000
Nothing much happening. Got a few phone numbers over the summer but threw them out. Been hanging around with Tess. Saw Maria today. She looked dazed and confused. I guess she's still missing me. I forgot to buy gel again.


November 13th 2000
Only Maria knows about Courtney's belief that I must lead if we are to survive. I don't think I want that much responsibility. I mean, I do whatever I want anyway, even if Max doesn't agree. Courtney sacrificed herself for us today. I wish she had made it to the granoleth. She was on our side, an ally, and she's gone now. It is just the four of us, and the other four from the crash... Where are they?


Jan 5th 2001
Michael's Life Day by Day
I've been feeling bad ever since Maria found me in_______'s room. Yeah I looked guilty. But that's because that's how she made me feel. Well I thought maybe that I would make it up to her this Christmas. But I don't want to do anything to make her think we'd be together always. And when it does come time I don't want her hurting. Well Isabel told me to get Maria something practical. Something that Maria would never buy for herself. So I got her a bumper. It's practical. Marai would never buy it for herself. So I thought it was perfect. I mean she needed one. The one she has is hanging on by a thread. Obviously that wasn't what Isabel had in mind. But I thought that Maria would like it. Which she did. But just not as a gift. Well luckily Isabel saved my ass. She had left a present for Maria saying it was from me. It was earrings. Pearl earrings. REAL PEARL. I owe that girl. A life saver. But a costly one. It was worth it though. The look on Maria's face. It was worth it. Max though, he did the most heroic thing any guy could. He saved many of childrens' lives. Cured them from cancer. A disease with no cure. I wish I could heal too. Max seemed happier today then he has in this past week. I dunno what happened but I think it has something to do with the rumors going around school. I don't know exactly what but something to do with Liz and Kyle. Whatever it is I am sure it's not good.
Michael


Feb 8th 2001
I recently found my human donor's granddaughter. She's a little on the nuts side but I don't mind. No worse than listening to Maria go on & on about our relationship status for hours on end. Anyway, Laurie would be like my niece if we went by human terms. Her richie weirdo aunt and uncle are my sister and brother. They paid me 50,000 to get lost. No problem there except I don't trust them. I think they're up to no good. I promised Laurie I wouldn't leave her so Maria & I spent the night in the Jetta. Maria's still asleep. She looks kind of sexy...her mouth open just a little and her shirt hanging off of her shoulder. She's probably dreaming about the status of our relationship. Oh well...


March 25th 2001
Well, I think I have a serious problem...I cant stop thinking about Maria. I've noticed the way Brody looks at her and it's driving me nuts! Maria is beautiful and smart, and she makes me go crazy, but I cant let myself love her. -Micheal P.s. I still don't think Liz slept with Kyle, she wouldn't do it.


March 27th 2001
I think Max is jealous of me lately. I know he loves my motorcycle. I bet he thinks he'd look fine on it.. not as fine I as do though. Maxwell would probably put Kyle on the back. I'd never let that happen.. that spot is reserved for Maria. I think Liz envys that Maria has a spot on my motorcycle. Anyway.. something really weird happened today. Tess came over and was digging through my fridge.. and I went to use the bathroom. Next thing I know I come back and the fridge is empty. All that left was a note that read "Must Feed Kyle!." Oh well.. I bet Maria is thinking about me right now on my motorcycle. Ah.. can you blame the woman?
Michael


March 31st 2001
What is wrong with me? Why won't Maria get out of my head??? So much for the stone wall


April 12th 2001
What is wrong with this town! They really need to stock up on gel. I've been driving round to every store in town and all are out of gel and have been for 6 months. My hair is now used to looking scruffy. I think I could look much better but Maria seems to like it. Man that girl is crazy for me! I'm crazy for her but I'm not going to show that cos I'm a Man! (no I'm not I'm and Alien but you know what I mean). Sometimes Max is really annoying I just want to throw him against the wall with my alien power! ugghh!


April 22nd 2001
i know that i'm a butt-head sometimes, but i don't think that people understand me the way that i want them to. i'm only mean sometimes because i don't really know how to express myself like a normal person. maybe its because i'm not a normal person. also, i just can't stand maria sometimes. i mean...she's just like me in a lot of ways and i already spend enough time with myself. maybe thats why i always push her away.


April 24th 2001
Alex died three days ago. A few of us were at the Crash Down and then we all heard Maria scream. That's when Valenti came in from the back, and told us he died in a car crash.

Maria is just going terrible. She doesn't even look the same. They were really close too. And I pretty much liked him, he was decent, as humans go. I stayed over with Maria and her mom at the De Luca's and tried to comfort them the best way I could. I'm not sure it was very much....but I guess it was, because Amy said that she really like me, and that I was always welcome at their house. It was probably the rum speaking. But she seemed pretty sincere.

Maria sang at the funeral. I was a pallbearer. I think Liz is going crazy because she is saying stuff that is messed up. Evidence is evidence. Anyway, she really pissed Max off, and then Tess, Is, and me left.

I don't know, but there are strange vibes going on around here....Max doesn't seem like himself most of the time. I am going to start paying more attention, and see what happens. No matter what, we still have to protect ourselves....I'm not going to let anything happen to us, because we can't risk anything.
Micheal


April 29th 2001
I went out today to get some food, I saw Liz. She really seems racked up. Maxwell was with Tess all evening last night, those two are getting really cozy. I do not like that Sean guy. I feel bad for Maria that he's swimming in her gene pool. Is dosen't even look like herself anymore. I think she took this the hardest of all. I have this feeling that we are all beraking up, and standing behind our own lines. Humans v. Aliens. I don't want to break the friendships with everyone, it's a comfortable group, and it's hard enough to trust new people, I don't think we can afford to break the trust and friendships of the people in our group. Maxwell was right, the humans are important, but I won't say anything to any of them about this, just trying to keep up to date about what I'm seeing.
Michael


May 8th 2001
I can't believe it. Liz was right. I just thought she ws upset over Alex. I really didn't believe she was on to something. I was wrong. We all were. All my life, I've been searching for the answers to all of our questions. We finally have them. The question is, do I want them? How can I leave her. I just found her. Now I know why Max acted the way he did with Liz. He was in love with her, the same way I am with Maria.


May 20th 2001
Oh man... Maria is gonna hate me. But I mean, what can I do... it's my destiny to go back to Antar. Trust me, it makes me feel horrible, but there's nothing I can do...


May 22nd 2001
I just gave Maria that pep talk about how I was going to give her now, even if I couldn't promise her later- I didn't know later would come so soon.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave Maria, and I couldn't go when I finally realized that this is where home really is. Last night, Maria came over, and I had this dinner all planned out, and candles all over the place. We sat down and I wanted to tell her that we had to leave, in a couple of hours but I couldn't. So instead, I let her see the me that I never let her see before. I opened up as soon as her hands joined mine. She saw that she was the center of my universe. I love her. A couple hours later, as we were laying in eachother's arms, I told her. She didn't leave, or get mad, she just...understood. And then, that morning when we had to leave, I couldn't.

I couldn't leave. When I opened up the cave to get out, Maria was there. And Liz, and Kyle. Can you believe that Tess killed Alex? So then we told Max everything. She brainwarped him. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if she brainwarped us all one way or the other. She better watch out if we ever see her again. But Tess went into the Granolith, our only way back to Antar, and left. So now, were stuck here, until the proverbial little spaceship comes to pick us up. Well, I don't have a problem with that.


June 1st 2001
So i haven't seen Maria in about four hour's she went to the Mall with Liz, It's stupid and dumb yet i miss her! Maria is the first person i've ever you know loved and it's kinda starange but i like it! Maria is the center of my life she is my world and she saw that! She saw me, We have done the deed a coulpe of times and it feel's better every time we hold each other after. Maria say's she loves me all the time and every time she say's that my heart does something. I tell her i love her, I mean it feel's right me saying that. I just feel i want it to be like this forever, She keep's saying You stayed for me, And i just say your the only thing i need and i sure as hell wasn't going to lose you! Max and Liz i don't know what the hell is going on there and at the moment i really don't care at the moment, All i care about is Maria. I've gotta go or Maria will be mad see i'm meeting her for dinner.


June 4th 2001
I think I pissed off Maria. Not that I meant to or anything I guess I just have this way of doing it. Somehow Maria thinks her mom is sure we did the deed and something about that scares me. Things are going so good now and if Ms. Deluca starts even suspecting anything bad about me I think it will ruin this bit of normality that i have with Maria. I didn't think I should loose that right now so when we were on the verge of doing it again I told her I couldn't do it. She just said looked at me hurt like and said she had to go. She hasn't returned my two phone calls so all that's left in the air for now.

I talked to Maxwell aka the caveman today. He's been huddled at home not talking much after the Tess Departure. He's a confused man right now. Maybe that's that case for everyone in Roswell right now.


June 4th 2001-Later
Maria said she wasn't avoiding me and i hadn't pissed her off! Whatever, Anyway i'm goin over there in a couple of minutes coz Ms DeLuca is out! I guess we'll get the good stuff done first ;-) Then eat somee pizza and watch evil dead 2 (Cool) So I went to the CrashDown today and spent time with Liz! This was kinda weird but you know she's okay and we had a good talk about Max and Maria. Liz said that she loves Max and wants him to know it well doesn't everyone know it? Kyle is annoying me now I just wanna punch him and say get over it- Okay maybe that was a little harsh but I do pitty the guy and think he need's to forget about Tess, Maria will take care of her if she comes back, Have you seen those nails. I think i'm looking pretty groomed tonight Maria will love it.


June 5th 2001
So Last night was damn good, Maria cooked me this meal which was a little burnt but when she wasn't looking i waved my hand over it!! We watched scobby doo as well which was kinda funnyand then just as myself and Maria were making out Liz called, and Maria said she couldn't have sex with me after hearing about Max for the past 20 min's, Whats with that! Anyway we just -(unfinished scribble- otherwords used quotes and form didn't get it all)

June 6th 2001
Oh god sorry I was in the middle of writing this and this cop turned up at the door! The cop just wanted to know if i'd seen the landlord latley god that scared me! Anyway what was I saying?? Oh yeah my night with Maria was cool! We snuggled as Maria put it. So i came up with the idea of going to the beach!!!!! So were heading over there at the weekend. Kyle came to the CrashDown today, About time the dude lfet his house! Now all we gotta do is get Maxwell out and about.


June 14th 2001
I wonder why Maria wants to be with me!!! Shes so amazing and gental and kind and i love her and it just shocks me that she ever would feel the same but she does!!! She tole me that she used to look at the stars and think yeah so what but now she looks and is amazed and says that they are wonderful as i came from up there. We had a cool time at the beach i threw Maria off the dock and Kyle and me cracked up when she yelled at us for messing up the hair. Kyle and me did hang out while the girls got there tans and Max and Liz were on one of there lovey dovey walks. Hes cool he tried to impress thease girls but they were laughing at him!!! I had to talk to Ms DeLuca about us staying there and she just said have fun which shocked me, Anyway gotta go.


June 23rd 2001
So we get back from that wonderful trip and Maria and I have been doing great, that is until today. Sure I love her like crazy, sure she's my world, but she did something that upset me today. We were at her house, no Amy, LOTS of kissing, making out, groping, you know the usual, when she brings something up. She said that we should go on a double date with Max and Liz. My first reaction is +um are you crazy?+ to which she replied +um NO, they need to go out on a date again+. Ok, sure that's logical, but there is no way that I will spend an evening with Maria looking all gorgeous, and made up, as she would be on a date, with anyone but ME. This is because 1. I won't be able to not pull her into an alley and start making out with her right then and there. 2. I don't want her paying more attention to Liz, than me. I know it's stupid, I know I'm horrible, but I can't help it. So to cover it up i made up something about how I don't want to be around Max and Liz all night because they aren't any fun. Well I almost can't believe Maria bought it because Max is my best friend, all we do is hang out really all the time. Or at least when I'm not worshiping Maria. So then she said that she would withold sex for a week! That's NOT fair!I've made love to her and she dares to hold it against me? Well we yelled, but i eventually agreed to go, just so I could get out of there. Well don't think I'll be her dreamy boytoy, Dr. Love tomorrow! I am NOT going to go on this date happily, in fact I'll make it hell!!!!! Oh yes this will be interesting.


June 25th 2001
Ok, so I went on that double date, I had it all planned that it would be horrible, but Maria looked so happy I couldn't be mean. In the end we had a really good time, we laughed and joked and Max was the most fun he has been in ages. I hate to say it, but Liz is actuallly good for him. Anyway, Maria's coming over tomorrow, I wonder what we'll do!


July 1st 2001
I was curious if Maria loved me or not, because she lately has been spending time with Liz and Iz, rather than me. So I snuck into her room and read today's entry in HER diary, and apparently she loves mw, and plans to spend more time ith me! YES! I love her too!


July 2nd 2001
So I haven't written in a while. Let me update you. Remember how I told you that Maria would be coming over on the 26th? Well she did. But thee was a slight problem... we went shopping! It was the WORST! Even though I got to hep her choose what clothes she would be wearing for a while, shopping will always be the girl's thing. (girl human, girl alien... either one.) She does have nice clothes now, though, if i do say so myself. But she made me carry her bags, while she ran from shop to shop. and I'm telling you.... those bags were heavy! Well gotta go. Next time Maria comes over, I make the plans of what we do.


July 3rd 2001
Maria is so great, she keeps wearing all those clothes I chose, I am so great at that. I can't wait to go to Max's tomorrow. Maria will be there and it should be a laugh. I would prefer it if it was just the two of us, but I have to let her have her own space.

August 22nd 2000
Three months! Three months and that bonehead hasn't even bothered to call. I can't believe this! That destiny was just a convenient excuse for him to bail! I'm gonna eat some pie now.


Sept 20th 2000
Saw Michael today. He's wearing his hair different. Can we say Partridge Family? Obviously he is in shock over our break up & forgot to buy his usual 40lbs on gel in bulk!


Nov 15th 2000
Courtney's dead. Should I feel bad? On one hand she stopped Nicholas from finding out where the Granolith was (how could bonehead have told her?) but on the other she is out of Michael's life. Free boyfriend or dead alien? Free boyfriend or dead alien? I think I'll have to get back to you on that one!


Dec 2nd 2000
Look, I have a MAJOR problem. Brody is so into me and I kind of like it. You know, a guy paying attention- doing the little things for me. It's not like Michael ever cared to find out what makes me happy. But the problem is while I like Brody I love Michael. ARGH! Just like him to stand in the way. I'm telling you it's all his fault. Everything since I met him has been his fault. But I can't help it...I love him.


Jan 5th 2000
Dear Secret Keeper:
Today Michael gave me a bumper. That was sweet of him. I really needed one.But he also got me earrings! Pearl. Real pearl. He must really love me. Like I really love him. Sometimes though I think about Brody. You know being together. I LOVE Michael but it doesn't seem like its gonna work.Brody gives me the attention that I deserve and he likes me I can tell. With Michael one day you think he loves you the next is like you don't even exsist with him. I wish Michael would be like Liz's Max. Sometimes I could just flip on Michael other times I could kiss him and kiss him. He has his moments. Liz and Max has their bad ones too though not often but they're in it now. Rumor has it that Liz slept with Kyle I don't believe it though. I mean why would she. She loves Max. But maybe it has something to do with the rumor. I dunno. Poor Liz. I hope they work things out. I don't like to see Liz so sad and depressed.
Ma


Feb 8th 2001
This has been like the most wild trip! Michael & I really bonded. He can't resist me. It's only a matter of time before Spaceboy is mine again- heart (or whatever's sitting in for that organ), body and soul. I wonder what he thinks our status is now. Maybe I'll ask him...


March 18th 2001
Alex and I went to see Get Over It last night. It was ok. The Felix guy was good but something about him bugged me. Alex didn't seem to notice but the actor just seemed so familiar! Well, gotta jet! I'll try update you more tomorrow on my life...


March 19th 2001
I haven't had a lot of time to write but I found out that the rumors about Liz and Kyle sleeping together are a lie. Liz told me the whole story and it's so crazy. What I mean is a Max from the future came to Liz and told her to make present day Max fall out of love with herself, and the only thing that would make Max fall out of love with herself is if he saw her and Kyle in bed together.

P.S-> I wounder what Micheal is doing right now, and I hope liz and max get back together soon I just can't stand to see so many people unhappy


March 27th 2001
Let me tell you.. Michael has been lookin mighty fine on that motorcycle of his lately. I think Max is jealous of it. Notice Max ran out and bought an all leather outfit.. but has no motorcycle. Hmmm. Max doesn't need one though because he'd probably put Kyle on the back.. and that would hurt Liz. Speaking of Liz.. I think she stole Max's horseshoe. Now thats what you call diehard obsession. She's just been sucked into the alien abyss. Oh Buddha help her.
Maria
P.S. Why did is Tess walking down the street with all Michael's food??


April 1st 2001
My English teacher gave me an assignment to write a poem about my desires. So far I have -
Oh Mikey G,
where for art thee
Yeah well, it needs some work!!
Maria xxxx

Sept 10, 2000
Dear Diary,
Still no interest from Max. Maybe I should play the same game and find a human for myself..hmm Kyle's looking better everyday. I would ask Isabel, but she's just as confused with her own destiny.


Sept 26, 2000
Dear Diary,
Why is everyone ignoring this whole destiny thing? I'm just wasting my breath when I talk about this...I mean it's not like I'm makin this up, it's all written down in this book from our home planet...even their mother told them. Oh well, I guess I'll have to win Max the ole' fashion "human" way...it shouldn't be too hard..wish me luck...


Nov 28, 2000
Dear Diary,
i went to NY with Max, Lonnie & Rath. We went to the summit...and guess what? Nicholas is still alive! Brody's...the man who runs the UFO museum, body is being used by some one from our system of planets. Khivar- I guess the person on the throne of our planet NOW- offered peace, and a ride HOME home. For our granelith. Max & I left to think for a while. He decided not to.

Lonnie( short for Vilandra) & Rath were angry at us. We were walking away to where we were staying, and Lonnie tried to kill MAX!! There was a painters balcony hanging. She used her powers to make it fall.

But Max was in a trance. He started to walk across the street as if he saw something. But Rath had just put a hand over my mouth so I couldn't tell him about the falling balcony thing.Then they pulled me somewhere. I guess to the summit.
They tried to get into my mind to find the granilith. Like Courtney said Nicholas could. I fought back. I don't know how. I just did. Max Found me. I was just sitting there. I told him what i just told you. Then I said i wanted to go home. And we did. I can't imagine any more bad things happening to us. It just seems like this is as far as it can go....you know?


Jan 5, 2001
Love is but a cruel thing. It can make you or break you. Thats what I found when I found Max. He was so in love with Liz that he didn't want to know his destiny. His destiny with me. He pushed me away. Knowing the truth but denying it. Max and I are destined for eachother but maybe not right now. I mean he is in love with Liz. You can't change love. And the other destined aren't fulfilling their destiny. Like Michael and Isabel they are to be together. But Michael is with Liz's friend Maria. Isabel well she isn't with anybody but when she's with Alex you can tell she is in love. Oh if only I hadn't known the truth then maybe I could fall in love. Maybe with Kyle he is a sweet one. Well even if I don't love him I am sure he would be a nice first. I wonder if Max would mind if I wasn't a virgin on our wedding day if we do have one that is.Well if Max and I never fulfill our destiny its not the end of the world. Is it?


Mar 12, 2001
Is Buddha boy ever gonna trim my lamp? What is he waiting for? A formal invitation?!


Mar 15, 2001
Went out with Isabel & Maria today. We did lunch then headed over to Broffman's. I picked Kyle up a pair of boxers as a joke but he didn't take it too well. He shoved them in his pocket and walked away. I don't get him.


Mar 27, 2001
Kyle is driving me bonkers!! He won't sit still for one meal like a normal family! All I ask is that he puts up the porn and shuts off the tv long enough for a decent meal together. He acts as if he'd actually rather have TV dinners!! Can I help it if I'm worried about all the weight he's losing?? *sigh* I even stole from Michael to feed my Kyle. Why can't he see I'm doing everything in my alien power to make myself useful? Nasedo help me!
Tess


Mar 30, 2001
Where are you Buddha boy....Sigh.....Could I be more obvious with my flirting? Some people....
Apr 5th, 2001
I'm starting to get confused. Who do I like more? Max or Kyle? I mean-Kyles more funny and makes me feel a part more. But Max...Max is my true destiny...supposedly...My whole life Nesedo told me that I was destined to be betrothed to Max. But when I actually meet him he's totally in love with Liz. And the annoying thing is I actually quite like liz. Max was so in love with. He may still be. But I'm not so sure now that Liz slept with Kyle. WHY DID THEY DO THAT ANYWAYS?? Damn Humans...they're so stange...


Apr 12th, 2001
I'm lying in bed thinking about all these guys human and aliens in my life. I know that I'm surposed to be with Max but he just can't let go of Liz. We have been close lately because Liz has suddenly just let go of him and there's a rumour Liz slept with Kyle. That brings me on to Buddha boy he is kinda nice but he's too into his mumbo jumbo buddha talk always trying to cleanse his mind. Maybe I'll just shut him up by sleeping with him that'll really wipe that buddha talk off his mouth at least for a while. see what happends but I don't know . If he says any more of that I might just do it.


Apr 12th, 2001
Step one of my plan to win over Kyle's body and heart- Oysters.


Apr 19th, 2001
Wow! How fast one goes from oysters to Max! I've just decided that I can't hold on to Kyle. He's human and it's just not gonna work out. No, I belong to Max and I'm just gonna have to make Max see it too!


Apr 20th, 2001
Oh my God! I finally got to Max, just like I planned. I'm so bad!! hehehe. I don't even like Max as a person, but now I can finally get my revenge on Liz for sleeping with my brother/lover, no I mean Kyle. nevermind , I shouldn't have told anybody that, whatever!
Tess Harding


Apr 24th, 2001
I can't believe it. It's already starting. One of the humans has died. All's I want is to go home. I mean home...home. There is nothing here on this planet for me. All I have is my destiny. I think Max and I are finally getting closer. Prom night reminds of that first time we met back on Antar. I have so little memories, but I am fighting to get them all back. Max and I are destined to be together, however, I can't help but wonder what he still feels for Liz. There is something about her, I am not quit sure yet what it is but she is different than the other humans. I fear the worst when I think about it. It's not possible. She can't be her or some kind of relationship. She would of known if it was her or one of her family members, but she totally treats herself as if she is human. Maybe I am just over reacting. Maybe she is just another human that Max's human emotions fell for. Well get back soon I have to continue the plan. I have to. Or there is no hope in returning home.


Apr 27th, 2001
Well, I have to give credit to her. I never expected Liz to go crazy like she did.... Now it looks like she's hell bent on figuring out why Alex died. Like I have time for this. Here I am, stuck on planet earth, trying to get back home to my planet, and I still have to get dinner on the table and STILL study for my biology test. Oh, and on top of that, I'm going to have to keep my eye on Liz. I just have a bad feeling about that girl.... I really do. I just have the worst premonitions about her whenever I think about it. Just keep strong Tess, and then everything will go perfectly, just like planned. I'll be home soon enough. Well, at least Max is starting to realize that it's ME he loves......so it's not all bad.
Tess


May 2nd, 2001
Oh my gosh.... did me and Max do what I think we did? Or is this some dream? I gave myself to him, and nothing has felt more right. And I was able to put his pain away just for a few moments. He FINALLY loves me, he does!
Tess


May 3rd, 2001
Little does max know that what we did will now bond us for a while.I am glad he has given up on the notion of liz and him so now he will focus all of his attention on me afyter all we are destined to be together


May 6th, 2001
He is mine! Finally destiny is here, and we are together! He finally relizes that he loves me not Liz! Liz has gone crazy, and I am here for him, he loves me!!! And we will go home soon and everything will be perfect! Destiny has come, and it tastes sweet....
Love, Tess


May 17th, 2001
Dear Diary,
There is so much I want to say, and not enough pages in you to write them all down. This baby is not surviving in the atmosphere. Max remembered he loved me. From Antar. He crawled into my bedroom window, and told me he remembered. If Brody remembered, than Max had to of remembered. I don't know what is blocking Max so much from knowing his true memories. It's just taking so much effort to have him open up to see what's true. I am so worried for this child. I want to go home. It's what will solve all of our problems. Going home. It's so simple. Well, I guess I didn't really have that much to say after all. Later!
Tess


May 21st, 2001
Dear Diary,
This is the last day on Earth. This is the last day I'll ever write on this book again. It's the last day I'll ever have to put up with that bitch. The baby is certainly a means to an end. We'll return home. Max, Isabel and Michael will die. I don't really want to see that happen no more than I wanted to kill Alex or hurt Kyle BUT if it means my child will rule Antar then it will have to be. I'll collect on all that Kivar promised Nasedo. My son & I will reunite Antar under false pretenses but that will all end once my child is grown. He'll overthrow Kivar- I know it. It's sad that Max won't live to see it but he never would understand. He's too human. At least in those final moments I'll get to see him realize what happened and that I took him away from Liz. I've waited a long time....Tess


Note from Kyle: I don't know why I'm keeping this. Maybe I should just throw it away or give it to Max but no matter how much I despise Tess for using me- for using my dad...I still can't just throw it out. I keep hoping I'll find a redeeming side of Tess in here. Maybe I'm dreaming.


This diary has been shelved for now.

August 22nd 2000
Today I looked at a bunch of pictures. I'm having a bit of memory loss. It's like I haven't seen anybody for ages. What the heck's going on? And how did Max heal me? And why is the room spinning?? Man, I don't feel too good. Did Max do something to me?! Nevermind. I think I might be drunk.


Dec 2nd 2000
I'm not really good at writing stuff down. If I had a room...but Tess has taken it over. My clothes, my music, the girl even controls what we watch! Don't get me started about the time I wish I could get back watching Dawson's Creek. Oh and the lectures! Yesterday it was an hour long thing about washing clothes in hot water & shrinking them. Uh, hello. Apparently, Miss Harding should do her own wash unless she wants me to keep shrinking those shirts. Not that I'm doing it on purpose. No...well yeah, I am but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.


Dec 5th 2000
today was fine i saw liz today working at the crashdown watching maxagain and again. i feel bad for since she doesnt have any body there for her.and her and max are in love with each other.i know it i could see it just like i saw it last year.he's the reason that she's in love with him he save her and did something so that liz could forget about me and go have fun with him. oh well that was last year. now this is this year.i started to like tess she looks good when she's mad me and her was gonna kiss but liz had to knock on the door to talk to tess its always about girls girls boys boys, maybe dad is right maybe i do need to get out of the house some more to get a girl to go on a date with her. or maybe i ask tess to go on a date with me maybe she will say yes or maybe she will say NO! cuz she likes max what is up with max he wants to know the truth of what happen between me and liz nothing happen between me and her well i got to go diary bye


Jan 5th 2001
It's been a couple of days since Liz asked me to help her. Rumors have been flying aroung ever since. I wonder what Max did to make Liz want to hurt him like that. i could tell Liz didn't didn't really want to hurt him. So why did she do it. I can't figure it out. It felt strange being with her again. We've never slept together or anything but you know just her being with me. It was just different. i like Liz and everything. But I moved on. I'm thinking more and more about Tess. Yeah she can be annoying. Taking over what my dad and I watch on tv. She's got me watching Dawson's Creek for heaven's sake. The bad thing about is I actually like the show. But she's got her good points . Like cooking. it's not so bad having her around. It's kindda nice having a woman...slash alien around the house. Makes home more like...home.


March 27th 2001
Tess is driving me insane!! I've already gained 10 pounds with all of the cooking she's been doing. At first I thought it was all good.. home cooked meals.. left-overs always there. I mean it sure beat the traditional T.V. dinners Dad would get. But now its like.. she expects Dad and me to sit down at a table and eat with her like a "normal" family. I've missed 5 games in the past few weeks because she makes me turn off the TV! I mean.. what the heck is her definition of normal anyway?!?! SHES AN ALIEN AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! Ugh.. Buddha help me!


March 31st 2001
Oh who am I kidding? I love Tess...I think


April 12th 2001
I have got too much stress on my shoulders. I must meditate ..cleanse my mind and soothe the body... Tess acts strange around me I think she wants something to happen between us and I am getting nervous everytime I'm around her my hands begin to sweat. The other day we were at the dinner table and she was giving me these looks over the table and I think dad noticed as well. I'm really getting worried over him as well with him losing his job and him really having low self esteem. Please buddha help my Dad to centre his thoughts to you.ummmm....ummm...


April 12th 2001
Oh, btw, Tess made this killer pie last night. For an alien she sure does like to cook. She says she's trying oysters next...maybe even a chocolate cake. Something keeps nagging at me about the oysters. What are they supposed to do? Um...oh yeah, I think it was help with eye sight. That's weird. Maybe it wasn't eye sight...


April 24th 2001
I couldn't believe it. Everything was going halfway decent, and then, Alex dies. When my dad told us all, I could just feel everyone screaming. I still can't believe it. Max couldn't bring him back to life. He must of been really bad off. And you know what really sucks is that we were just starting to be good friends. If he could have saved Alex, then Alex would've been changed....with powers. Like Liz and me. I wonder what Buddah would think of trying to up my powers? My dad is taking Alex's death really hard, I think it's because he really knew him. Everyone is upset....although Tess doesn't seem as hurt as everyone else. Yeah, and she spends alot of time with Max I don't get that cuz he love's Liz right? But hey, Tess makes a mean roast. She's really into this cooking/family time thing. Well, it's not too bad anyway....Man, I hope everything gets back to normal...whatever that is, anyway, I don't know. Later,
Kyle


April 27th 2001
Hey, Well I was just thinking about everything and I decided to write it down instead. Maybe then I can make heads or tails of it. Okay. Well the whole thing with Alex. I agree with Liz. It all seems a little strange. Alex was so happy. I don't think he would kill himself. I think Liz has caughten on to something that no one else seems to see. Or doesn't want to see. What if an alien did kill Alex? Whose next? Maybe Liz? Maria? ME? When will it end? Or more like with who? I can't believe the aliens walked out on us like that. They turned their backs on Liz. I never thought I'd see the day Max would do that. What a bunch of creeps! They only see what they want to see. Only hear what they want to hear. Believe what they want to believe. It really is them vs us now. I wish we could just go back in time and make everything alright. but that's crazy. you can't time travel.
Kyle


May 20th 2001
It's me Buddha- your Buddha jock Kyle. I haven't talked to anyone in the Pod Squad or friends of them in a long time, and I just wanted to say one thing:
Where'd everyone go?


June 1st 2001
I'm not usual in for writing in journals I mean i am a jock but maybe it's better i write it! Isabel left and i'm alone! Dad is out with Amy, He's pretty angry and up-set me and him cried the other day. Amy just know's that Tess left! Amy has been supporting Dad which he needs. Maria called me before, She seemed her perky self but she was nice and said her and Michael are coming over later after there Family meal or something. Maria is to nice sometimes.
I called Isabel to come overi just feel like i'm alone and Maria said before as did Isabel if you ever feel like that just pick up the phone and call. Oh there's the door bell!


June 4th 2001
Maria and Isabel took me to the Mall today, How fun that wasnt! Well they did try and make me feel better and they did put a smile on my face a couple of times and Maria brought me some dumb oil burner which she said would relax me! It has been burning for about half hour and yeah it is kinda relaxing!!!! I'm gonna go to bed Dad is out with Amy DeLuca ugggh that is digusting! Its gross really and i Know Maria agrees isn't there a action group against that kinda thing????????


June 5th 2001
I'm starving, I went out today as Isabel said she'd tell everyone about Mr Teddy, My bedtime pal! Not that i'm ashamed of it or anything!?!?!?! So the beach on Saturday, How fun! Maybe I shouldn't go - But i'll have an angry Maria to deal with if I don't. Go i'm hungry, I had this salad at the CrashDown because there's a new waitress at the CrashDown and she got my order muddled up and I didn't have the heart to say it's wrong.Maria gave me such a look when she saw me eating it!!! Liz and Max are together I think, I don't know i've been in hiding to long. Anyway i'm gonna head to the Maccy D's outta town as i'm still starving!


June 14th 2001
Dad spent the whole time we were at the beach with Amy DeLuca no wonder they were so cool about us staying there. God it makes me sick everyones getting it even my dad ewwww. Isabel hasn't god anyone I suppose but God why ddi i even go there thats like uggh shes my friend. She did look damn good in her bathing suite even as did Maria. Liz wore a t-shirt nearly all the time ! Not that i would want to see that (Been there done that) Michael's eyes sure didn't wonder onto thease fly girls i was hitting on he stayed firmly with Maria! That guy must be in love.


June 25th 2001
Isabel and I have become really close. She knows what I am going through as she was fairly close to Tess at the beginning, plus we both enjoyed playing tricks on Max. Max and Liz are back together, they are all gooey eyed again. It is really annoying. So annoying that Liz spilt soda all down my front when she was serving me, apparantly staring into Max's eyes is more important than doing you job properly. Michael and Maria have so done the business, you can see it in their eyes. Everyone is in love, except for me. Isabel and I could be an item, but neither of us is looking for love just yet, we feel too betrayed at the moment. Watch this space is all I can say.