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NATIONAL INTERROGATOR PRESENTS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Tracking Down the Media Darlings of Yesterday with K.C. Bickel
BRODY DAVIS: CRACKPOT JACKPOT!
Two years ago, anyone on Silicon Alley would've said Brody Davis was a
genius. A visionary. The next Bill Gates. But today? "The guy's just plain
nuts," says one insider. What made Brody bonkers? Aliens, of
course!
Brody was one of those scooter ridin' hackers we've all seen on the news.
Five years ago, he co-created some cutting edge company that changed the face of
the internet, blah blah blah. I'll spare you all the boring high tech details,
because, let's face it, who cares? We want to know how much this kid made,
right? More than all the tea in China? Yup. More than the budget of that
Pearl Harbor movie? Maybe.
It was no secret to his board members that Brody had his quirks. For one, he
loved to splurge on anything "authentically alien" sold by high-priced dealers
or on auction websites (little did he know, he could've saved a bundle by buying
National Interrogator's Alien Starter Kit for only $19.95!
+ shipping and handling). But, then Brody started speaking publicly about being
abducted by aliens and the board no longer found his quirks quite so charming.
He claimed his first abduction happened in 1993, when he was plucked off the
Boston Turnpike and taken aboard an alien ship for three days. Although
Brody says he cannot remember what exactly happened, he swears the aliens cured
his terminal bone marrow cancer (Bly me, a cure for cancer? I thought all the
English got from aliens were crop circles!). The board immediately turned sour
on Brody and bought out his stake in the start-up for a whopping $300
MILLION (that's a lot of bangers and mash!). The last anyone heard from
Brody, he was spending a substantial portion of his pay-out contracting top
scientists to study radio signals from other planets hoping to make contact with
his former abductors.
So where are Brody Davis and his millions now? Well, if Brody wants to
reestablish contact with his abductors, he's certainly made the right move -
into their last known place of residence! That's right, Brody Davis is now the
proud proprietor of Roswell, New Mexico's legendary UFO Museum. Brody
blew into town, waved a few million under the nose of museum owner Milton Ross
and had the deed to the place within a few hours.
"It's just sad," a former colleague told me in an exclusive interview, "He
was the best of the best. A major player. And now he's holed up in some alien
tourist trap." The colleague suggested Davis' fascination with making contact
with his abductors could be tied to his 5-year-old daughter's recently diagnosed
cancer. "Maybe the thought of losing his kid has driven him over the edge. He's
so desperate for a cure, he'll take one from anyone." Even an alien?
Next week: K.C. gives indisputable proof that Don Knotts is The Mole!
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