Liz spent a sleepless night, thoughts racing through her head at a million miles an hour.
Over and over again she had chastised herself for her foolishness. She had let Max close to her and she was paying the price. And the worst part was, she still loved him. Even though she knew what he was, she loved him.
She was horrified and ashamed of herself, but she still had feelings for him. Last night he only had to look at her and she felt the same sensations rushing through her as when he touched her.
Even worse she had wanted to believe his explanation. She had wanted to believe it was simply a misunderstanding. She’d been almost desperate to believe him.
He’d made it all seem so simple and innocent, but she'd seen the truth with her own eyes. Hadn't she?
Liz pressed her hands to her temples as a pounding started. She was so confused.
Max had said he loved her and her heart had soared, but she’d quickly locked it away to protect herself. And she’d been right, he didn't deserve her trust. He would continue to hurt her. He had the power because he had her heart.
But loving him the way she did, Liz knew she had to stay away from him or he would be able to coax her back. She was still too vulnerable and he was too persuasive. It would be so easy to give in to him.
When he came to she her again, she couldn't be alone with him. Suddenly she felt the panic start to build within but quickly pushed it back down. She couldn't afford to panic, she had to be strong. Maria would send Max away and she wouldn't even have to see him.
Glancing at the clock, Liz saw it was close to nine. She didn't know what time Max would come but she wanted to be ready for any possibility. She dressed quickly and went into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Maria joined her after a few minutes and they discussed the plan. Liz explained that she didn't want to see Max at all because she felt too vulnerable, and Maria agreed she would simply send him away.
After breakfast the two sisters cleaned the kitchen and attempted to pass the time with conversation but it quickly fell flat, both of them feeling the tension. To Liz it was like a war and she waiting for the inevitable attack of the enemy. She was alert for every sound, every change in the atmosphere, and it was slowly driving her crazy.
At ten sharp there was a knock at the door and Liz and Maria looked at one another both knowing who it was.
Maria reached for her hand, squeezing it briefly. "Okay?"
Liz hesitated only for a moment and then nodded. Maria rose and Liz followed her to the foyer and waited behind the same wall that she had last night, intending to listen.
"Hello Maria," Max greeted her sister, when Maria opened the door.
Liz shuddered at the tone in Max's voice, he sounded as tired as she felt.
"Max," Maria said with a subdued tone.
"May I come in?" he asked.
"I don't think that’s a good idea," Maria said more firmly.
"I know Liz is upset and you're just trying to protect her," Max continued softly, "but you have to know I would never hurt her. I love her and I just need to see her, talk to her."
Maria sighed. "She doesn't want to see you, Max."
"Maria, I need to see her," he pleaded.
Max's tone pulled at Liz's heart but she stood firm.
"Maybe another time," Maria said. "Liz is too upset. She can't handle this now."
"You speak as if she were a child," Max ground out. "She isn't. She’s a strong woman and perfectly capable of doing her own dirty work."
Liz cringed at the tone in his voice, she had never heard him angry.
"Liz asked me to tell you to go," Maria asserted, her own temper rising.
"I want to hear it from her own lips," he said louder. “Liz!” His voice rang through the house, causing Liz to jump. But immediately his tone dropped to a more conciliatory one as he called out again. "Liz please, I just want to talk to you."
She started forward, automatically drawn by the pleading tone in his voice, but stopped herself almost immediately. Max was just on the other side of the wall and she reached out a hand as if she could touch him. Her whole body trembled in reaction, and she rested her head against the wall and willed her strength to return.
"Liz!" he called out again.
"Max please go," Maria said softly.
"Liz, you can't hide from me forever," he said, a desperate tone entering his voice.
"Please Max, the neighbors," Maria insisted.
"Okay Maria,” Max agreed. “I'm sorry,” he said more softly, “but tell her this isn't the end. I love her and I'm not giving up."
"Max, maybe it would be best if you did," Maria said. “Best for both of you.”
"No,” he said simply, his voice cracking with emotion. “I can't let her go. I love her too much."
Maria shut the door and Liz came around the corner as soon as she heard the click of the lock. She crossed her arms across her chest, suddenly needing the extra warmth. "Maria, I'm sorry I made you do that," she said softly.
"Hey,” Maria whispered, pulling her into a hug, “that's what sisters are for."
"No," Liz said, pulling away and shaking her head. "Max is right. I'm an adult and it's time I started standing on my own two feet."
Maria reached out and smoothed a hand down Liz's hair. "You do stand on you own feet most of the time, but everybody needs some help occasionally."
Suddenly she grinned. "And to help keep your mind off of Max I think we should go out do a little shopping and have lunch."
"Yeah," Liz agreed, "I think that's a good idea."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Even though Liz was with Maria, the rest of the day seemed to drag by. They shopped and ate and went to a movie that they had both been dying to see. And Maria kept her so busy she hardly had time to think of Max.
She hardly thought of him when she was trying on clothes, wondering if Max would like them. She hardly thought of him when they ate lunch and she "accidentally" ordered one of his favorite dishes. And she hardly thought of him when she was watching the movie and kept comparing his rugged features to the lead actor.
It was late in the afternoon when they arrived back at the apartment. Maria had been trying to convince Liz to stay a few more days, but the things Max had said that morning kept coming back to her. He was right about one thing, she couldn't hide forever, and eventually she would have to face him. So Liz decided to go home.
Gathering her few things together, she thanked her sister for everything, and against Maria's protests got in her car to drive home.
Liz drove slowly, not looking forward to being alone, but wanting to prove to herself that she was strong and capable of dealing with every aspect of her life. She was so deeply immersed in her thoughts that she didn't notice the black Audi following her.
She parked in her driveway and got out of the car, but stared in surprise at Max’s car as it pulled in behind her, blocking her escape. She couldn’t seem to move, standing immobile as Max exited his car and walked toward her.
His eyes held hers as he approached, and they seemed to glow with pain and determination. When he was a few feet away he softly called her name, "Liz."
Suddenly her shock dissolved and she whirled away from him and ran toward her front door. "I don't want to see you," she called over her shoulder as she fumbled for her house key.
Max caught up to her just as she opened the door.
She rushed inside and tried to shut him out, but his hand pressed against the door. His superior strength allowed him to easily hold it open, even thought she pushed with all her weight.
“Liz, I just want to talk to you,” he said.
Knowing it was useless to fight him, she stepped away from the door. She turned her back, but could still hear him as he came inside. “Just go Max,” she said softly. “We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”
"Liz, I'm not going to let you throw this away,” he said close behind her. “I need you. I love you.” He reached out and took her wrist, gently turning her to him. "And you love me too."
"No Max," Liz gasped, trying to pull away from him. She met his eyes. "Just let me go."
"I can't,” he ground out, taking a step nearer. “I love you too much.” His golden eyes seared into hers, showing the depth of his emotion. “You are the only thing that makes my life make sense. I don’t want to live without you."
Liz wanted to believe him. She desperately wanted to believe him. There was nothing she wanted more than for things to go back to how they had been before; to feel cherished, and safe and loved. But she shook her head trying to dismiss his words and erase her rebellious thoughts. "No, Max. Please stop."
She had been so happy with him, but it had all been an illusion. She squeezed her eyes shut so he wouldn't see the tears that were suddenly threatening. But a single drop escaped and rolled down her cheek.
Max's voice startled her it was so close. "Oh Liz, don't cry," he whispered. He cupped her face, and his lips gently touched her cheek, kissing the tear away.
Liz froze, willing him to kiss her but dreading it at the same time. Her heart beat so fast she though she might pass out, and she cursed herself for still wanting him. How could she be so weak?
And then his lips touched hers, and the breath she had been holding rushed out in a sigh.
"Liz," Max whispered against her lips.
He grazed her mouth with another soft kiss. She started to tremble in reaction and he took her face in both hands, touching his lips to her cheek, forehead, and eyes. "Liz, I love you so much."
She struggled to hold herself rigid but when his lips returned to hers, she couldn’t seem to control her actions, and felt herself melting into him.
Max kissed her gently at first, brushing her lips with his, coaxing a response. And when she didn't object, he deepened the kiss, sliding his arms around her and pulling her to him.
Without questioning the situation, she wound her arms around his neck, eagerly returning his kisses. Oh how she wanted this, wanted him. She loved him, and the only thing that mattered was losing herself in his kisses.
Vaguely she was aware that Max’s lips left hers and kissed a warm trail down her neck. He lingered over her throat, sucking her delicate skin. Then he slowly moved up toward her ear, drawing a gasp from her when he found a particularly sensitive spot.
Reality intruded a little more when she heard his whispered voice demanding, "Liz tell me that you love me."
"Yes," she gasped unhesitatingly.
"Tell me Liz," he rumbled, in between kisses.
"I love you Max," she whispered.
“Oh Liz,” he breathed, “I love you so much.”
Then his lips were on hers again, devouring, demanding a response. And Liz gave him what he was asking for, kissing him back hungrily.
It was like a beautiful dream. Max loved her and he was kissing her.
Kissing her.
Kissing a blonde.
Kissing his blonde lover, Tess.
Reality burst into her dream and Liz began to struggle. Max didn’t really love her. He had been cheating on her. "No," she said pushing against him.
Max released her immediately and she stepped back from him crossing her arms over her chest. She looked down at the floor, ashamed of her reaction to him. "Please go."
He reached out to her. "We love each other and we should be together," he argued. "Your heart believes me even if your head is getting in the way.”
Liz shook her head as a lump formed in her throat. “I…” she croaked.
He took a step closer and continued softly. “All you have to do is just trust me Liz."
"That's the problem,” Liz said as more tears gathered in her eyes. She met his gaze. “I don't trust you. I don't believe you."
He ran his hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture. "You said you trusted me Friday night."
"That was before yesterday," she squeaked, her voice full of pain.
"Nothing happened yesterday," he said softly, but Liz could feel the frustration building within him. He held her eyes. "Nothing has changed."
Liz shook her head. "Everything has changed," she said with a firmer tone. “I won’t be with a liar and a cheat. Not again.”
“You don’t really believe that,” Max said softly. “You’re just scared.”
His gaze was intense and he seemed to be searching for something in her eyes. Liz shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest.
Max looked down and then back, holding her eyes. “Liz, Alex told me a little more about your past,” he said.
Her eyes widened in alarm, but he continued. “He said your fiancé cheated on you, so I understand why you’re so scared. One of the people you trusted the most betrayed you.”
He shook his head. “But you know me Liz, and I would never do that to you. It’s okay for you to trust me. It’s safe, I promise.”
His voice was so soft and soothing, so persuasive, and his words were exactly what she wanted to hear. But she didn’t allow herself to give in. She shut out his words and stayed strong.
Liz straightened her shoulders, surprised that she wasn’t afraid. “You have to let me go.”
"No," he said, his voice raising with emotion. "I won't give you up. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I won't lose you. Liz you can't give this up," he pleaded.
The pain in his voice tugged at her heart. She loved him so much.
Liz was on the verge of breaking down into tears, and turned her back to him. She stood rigidly, afraid if he touched her again, her fragile control would break. "Please go," she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper.
They stood in silence for a few minutes and she could feel the tension radiating from his body, his eyes boring into her. She could feel him willing her to come to him, and she prayed she had the strength to resist.
"Okay," he said finally. "I'll go for now, but this isn't over. I'll do whatever it takes to get you to trust me again.”
He paused again. “I'll see you tomorrow."
Liz’s whole body shook with emotion. She wanted to protest, to tell him not to come back, not to bother her again. But she didn’t trust her voice and remained silent.
She didn’t turn around until she heard the door close, knowing she was finally alone. She released a deep breath as more tears gathered in her eyes and deep shivers racked her body.
When Max had been in the room he seemed to fill the space with his presence, his vibrance and warmth, and now that he was gone it just seemed cold and empty.
She was empty.
Liz didn’t even want to admit it to herself, but she knew Max had filled a place inside she hadn't realized existed. And now that he was gone she was afraid she would never be whole again.
