Liz spent another sleepless night and finally she decided she may as well just go to work instead of continuing to toss and turn. She arrived at the office and noted with some relief she was the only one there.
Monday mornings were usually quiet and she immediately dove into the stack of papers that were piled on her desk to keep her mind off of other things.
Gradually she could hear others arriving and steeled herself, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. But eventually she could hear someone coming toward her office and attempted to paste a smile on her face.
It was Kyle, and when she saw him her mask faltered briefly. Liz quickly strove for control but was apparently unsuccessfully.
"Liz what's wrong?" he asked concerned.
She hesitated telling him the truth, somehow feeling like she would be betraying Max. That's a laugh, she thought, me betraying him. "I had a rough weekend," she said softly.
"Oh?" Kyle asked, studying her closely. “You want to talk about it?"
Liz shrugged. "Not really. I just want to put it behind me."
"Now Liz,” Kyle said, “we are friends. And friends help each other don't they?"
Liz nodded. "Thanks Kyle. It's just..." she hesitated but then saw the encouraging light in his eyes and continued. "Well, Max and I, um, had a fight."
Just for a moment she thought she saw a triumphant gleam in Kyle’s eye but she blinked and it was gone.
"I'm sorry Liz," he said softly. He came around the side of her desk. "Want to tell me what it was about?"
She looked down. "I feel so stupid, Kyle,” she said as tears gathered in her eyes, “after everything you told me about him." She shook her head and met his eyes as she continued softly, the pain evident in her voice, "I saw him with another woman."
"Oh Liz,” he said sadly, “you have no idea how much I wish I had been wrong." He took her hand in his, and his eyes roamed over her face. "I can see this whole thing has really hurt you. Evans has really gotten to you hasn't he?"
She nodded and wiped at her eyes. "More than I wanted to admit."
He patted her hand. “I really am sorry, Liz,” he said, shaking his head. “Do you want me to stay for a while?”
Liz squeezed his hand. “No, I’m okay.”
He smiled. “Well, at least let me take you to lunch. Just some friendly company to take your mind off everything.”
“I’d like that,” Liz said with a nod, “but I’m going to lunch with Maria.”
He nodded. “Well, we’ll go another day.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “And thanks Kyle,” she said with a smile. “Thanks for being my friend.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kyle left shortly after, and the flowers arrived a few minutes later.
It was a huge arrangement of colorful wildflowers in a simple, glass vase.
Emotions rushed through Liz as the deliveryman placed them on her desk; happiness, anger, panic, sorrow, relief. She started trembling, the strength of her feelings practically overwhelming her.
Liz tried to paste on a calm expression as she scribbled her name on the invoice and gave the man a generous tip. She managed to keep herself under control until the deliveryman left, and quickly closed the door behind him, collapsing against it.
The breath she had been holding, rushed out of her lungs. She was horrified to learn that she actually wanted Max to keep coming after her. But she had to fight her feelings. She had to cut Max out of her life while she still could.
She approached the flowers on her desk slowly, eyeing them warily. Max was right. She couldn’t help thinking about him when the flowers were a constant reminder.
She knew she should just throw them out, but she had to see what the card said. Her hand shook as she reached for it, and she hesitantly picked it up.
She read it slowly, tears pricking her eyes.
Dearest Liz,
I asked the florist for her opinion on which flowers to send.
I wanted something special, unique, to express how I feel,
and she showed me a book on the meanings of flowers.
The following are in this arrangement.
Freesia - Trust
Daisy - Innocence, Loyal love
Daffodil - You're the only one - The sun is always shining when I'm with you
I swear am innocent of any wrong, and I have been loyal.
I will do anything to regain your trust.
Liz, you are the only one I want,
because you bring sunshine into my life.
I Love You,
Max
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At lunch Liz nearly broke down as she told Maria about Max’s visit the night before and the note with the flowers he had sent. She shook her head and wiped at her eyes. “I just have to stay strong,” Liz said softly. “He’ll give up sooner or later.”
Maria nodded. “You’re right. And if he does show up at your house tonight, don’t let him in. He’ll get the message sooner if you refuse to see him.”
Liz grimaced, remembering her reaction to him. “I didn’t exactly let him in yesterday, he just kind of pushed his way in, before he kissed me senseless.”
Maria’s brow creased. “He did what? He forced his way into your house?” Her eyes searched Liz’s face. “And that didn’t terrify you?”
Liz shook her head realizing Maria was right. “No,” she said simply. “I wasn’t scared of him at all. I just knew he wouldn’t hurt me.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That evening, soon after Liz got home, there was a knock at her door.
She automatically looked through the peephole, and wasn’t really surprised to see Max. But she was surprised by her reaction to him.
Her breath caught and her heart leapt. She was excited to see him.
Liz’s stomach did flip-flops, as she let her eyes roam over him. He was so handsome. He was dressed immaculately in a dark green shirt, that made his eyes seem to smolder, and he held a large bouquet of tulips.
Immediately she cursed herself for being a fool. She couldn’t let him smile and charm his way back into her life. She had to stay in control of the situation and she couldn't do that if she allowed her love for him to rule her actions.
"Max, please go away," she called through the door.
He shook his head. "Let me in Liz, we need to talk and I really don't want to do that by yelling through the door."
"We don't have anything to talk about," she said stubbornly.
"Yes we do,” he insisted. “I love you, and you love me. We have to work through this so we can be together."
He lowered his voice but she could still hear him. "Let me in. Please Liz."
A wave of sorrow washed over her and for a moment she hesitated, leaning her head against the door between them. He was so close she felt as if she could simply reach through the door and touch him. And why shouldn’t she? a voice inside asked. It would be so easy to capitulate to him. She loved him, and it felt so right.
But then her self-preservation instincts kicked in. She straightened her back, using all of her strength to stand away from the door she had been using for support. She struggled to make her voice firm as she spoke to him through the door. "Please leave."
"Liz we need to talk this out.”
His tone pleaded, but she shook her head, not realizing he couldn’t see her.
"Liz," he attempted again.
She couldn't answer. Her emotions were choking her and she was close to tears.
"Liz please."
The longing in his voice echoed her own, and cut through her like a knife. But she clamped her lips together to stop herself from answering.
After a few minutes she heard Max put the flowers on her doorstep and walk away.
As she heard his car door shut, she allowed herself to sag against the door, unsure if she could continue to stand unaided.
Shivers of reaction rushed through her. She was proud of herself for staying strong, but she was so miserable. Denying her love for him was the hardest thing she had ever had to do.
Suddenly she was aware that she hadn’t heard Max’s car drive away. She moved to the window and carefully parted the curtains to look out, but gasped in surprised at what she saw.
Max was sitting rigidly in his car, his head bowed, jaw clenched, and eyes closed. He had a look of such pain and hopelessness on his face that Liz's first thought was to rush out and comfort him.
But she checked the action almost immediately. She couldn't allow him to concern her anymore.
She let the curtain fall from her shaking fingers, and it swished back into place, blocking her view. But she even though she couldn’t see him, she was unable to erase from her mind the stricken look she had seen on his face.
It haunted her, and made her heart ache. For several minutes she stood immobile, struggling with her emotions, only feeling some relief when she heard his car start and drive away.
Liz waited until he had been gone a full ten minutes before she opened the door and retrieved the flowers.
She put them on the table in the living room, and sat down, unable to take her eyes off them.
The image of Max’s stricken face kept flashing through her mind. No matter what he was, he really did seem to love her.
Her eyes flicked to the card that was sticking out of the flowers, wondering what it said. Was it another declaration of his love?
Max seemed so perfect, always doing and saying just the right things. He was funny and impulsive and romantic, and he seemed so sincere. If the situation had been different, she would have rushed into his arms and never left.
Immediately she shook her head. She couldn’t let it matter that he loved her, or she loved him. He was a liar and a cheat, and that would never change. She couldn’t be with a man like that again.
And she couldn’t let the situation run her life. With a groan of frustration she rose, pointedly ignoring the card on the flowers.
Attempting to get on with her evening, she made some dinner that she pushed around her plate, and finally threw out. She cleaned the kitchen and moved around the living room, straightening things that didn’t need straightening. Then she sank into an armchair and flipped through all the channels several times, not really seeing anything.
But her eyes kept retuning to the card that came with the flowers.
Finally, she frustratedly grabbed it.
Tulips
Red -- Believe me
Violet -- Faithfulness, I'll always be true
I Love You,
Max
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Around ten that evening the phone rang. Liz hesitated in answering, fearing it was Max, but she stubbornly pushed her fear away, telling herself she wasn't going to let Max dictate how she lived her life. It could be Maria or someone else she wanted to talk to.
Liz picked up the phone and let out a relieved breath when she heard Alex's voice.
"Liz, I heard what happened,” he said, the concern evident in his tone. “And I just wanted to call and see if everything was okay."
"Alex, I really don't want to talk about this," Liz said softly.
"That bad, huh?" he asked.
"Alex, Max is your friend," Liz tried to explain.
"Yes,” he interrupted, “he's my friend, but you are my family. If it comes down to choosing between the two of you Liz, you will come first every time.”
He paused. “But it doesn't have to come to that does it?"
"Of course not,” Liz said softly. “I would never ask you to stop being friends with him just because of what happened between us."
"Of course you wouldn't,” Alex said. “You are too generous a person. I just want you to know where my loyalties lie.”
“Thanks Alex,” Liz said, as tears pricked her eyes.
“And speaking of loyalty,” Alex continued, “I know Max, and he wouldn't lie to you."
Liz sighed. "Alex, he is lying because I saw them together."
"Max says it's a misunderstanding," Alex pushed.
"I don't see how Alex,” Liz said with a stronger voice. “They looked pretty cozy."
Alex continued softly. "All I'm saying Liz is that you already took a big chance by letting Max into your life. I know you care for him, and he tells me he loves you. Maybe you should just talk to him, and give him a chance to explain.”
Liz shook her head. “Alex, I don’t…”
He cut her off. “Isn't it worth your peace of mind to find out what really happened?"
