Liz slept soundly for the first time in a week and awoke feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from her heart.
She loved Max desperately and she was so happy that it appeared she’d been mistaken about him.
In the past her judgment hadn’t been reliable, and even her heart had let her down. She had thought she loved Sean too, and had believed his lies over and over. And she had paid the price for it. Even now her time with Sean was coloring her life.
She didn’t trust herself, and her past had made her especially distrustful of men. That was why she had so easily believed the worst of Max.
Tears flooded her eyes as she thought about how terribly she had treated him. Max had been nothing but kind and loving and she had pushed him away at the first sign of trouble.
But she didn’t know another way to deal with problems. She ran, she hid, she isolated herself from anything or anyone that could hurt her. It was the only way she knew how to survive. It was the only way she had survived before.
She was just glad that Max had been so determined and hadn’t let her walk away.
She had told him she needed time, but she knew he wouldn’t rush her. She was the one who felt the urgency to talk to him.
It had been less than a week ago that she’d been ready to tell him everything. She’d been ready to tell him about her past, about Sean, everything. And she owed him that explanation even more now. She owed him the truth about why she had done what she’d done.
She sighed. Maybe it wasn’t possible for her to function in a relationship. Maybe Sean had ruined her forever.
But she really loved Max, and she wanted to try and make it work with him. If nothing else she owed Max a huge apology along with the explanation, and she planned to tell him everything that night.
She went to work with feeling determined to do everything she could to make it work with Max. And when the flowers arrived at her office, Liz reached for the card eagerly.
Primrose -- I can't live without you
Lily of the Valley -- You've made my life complete
Phlox -- Our souls are united
I Love You
Max
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kyle was waiting in her office when Liz returned from lunch.
"Hey Liz," he greeted with a smile. “You look like you’re feeling better today. Finally putting Evans behind you?"
Liz frowned. She hated how he always talked about Max so negatively. She didn’t want to tell him anything about their relationship. It was none of Kyle’s business.
When she didn’t say anything Kyle continued. "Well how about I take you to dinner tonight, and we can forget about him together."
She couldn’t believe he kept asking her. He had never pressured her so much when they had been dating. She shook her head. "I'm sorry Kyle I have other plans."
His expression darkened. "You're seeing Evans tonight, aren't you?" he accused with a snarl.
Liz recoiled, his tone startling her, but he was oblivious and continued angrily. "Liz I just can't believe it. After everything he has done to you, you’re going back to him? You deserve better than him."
He paused for a moment to collect himself, rubbing his hand over his face. When his eyes met hers again, he had a grim expression on his face. "Liz, I wasn't going to tell you this, but I don’t have a choice now."
A sick feeling started in Liz’s stomach. "What is it?" she asked breathlessly.
Kyle held her eyes, speaking softly. "I saw Evans when I was at lunch today, and he was with a woman. They were alone together in a dark corner of the restaurant and it was obvious from all of the touching that they very comfortable with each other."
His tone made it sound so sordid and Liz flinched as he continued. "The woman was blonde, thin, very good body. Does that ring any bells?"
Liz felt like her world was falling apart around her. "No.” The word left her lips with a rush of breath, leaving her gasping for air. From Kyle’s description it was obvious the woman was Tess.
He nodded. "Yes."
He stopped when he saw the stricken expression on her face. "Oh Liz, I'm sorry I'm the one who had to tell you. I wasn’t going to say anything because I knew it would hurt you, but you have to know the truth if you are thinking about going back to him.”
He moved toward her, attempting to take her into his arms.
Liz felt like she might faint but stepped away from Kyle and wrapped her arms around herself.
A brief scowl crossed his face. "Please Liz,” he said softly, “let me comfort you. I know you're upset.”
He reached out to her. “I know this isn't the best time, but I want you to know I love you and I want to be with you."
Liz's eyes snapped to his. He loved her? In all the months they had been dating he had never hinted at such deep emotion. He had been so detached and distance. But maybe he had been afraid of showing her his true feelings.
She was in totally surprised, and it must have shown on her face.
He continued softly. "I didn't mean to spring this on you. I thought you must have some idea."
She shook her head slowly. "I didn't realize," she said woodenly.
Kyle sighed. "I know this has come as something of a shock and I can be patient until you get used to it. I know we'll be good together and you'll realize you love me after you get over Evans."
She couldn't believe what he was saying.
"I'm so sorry Kyle," Liz said, shaking her head. "I don't love you. I like you as a friend but it will never be anything more. I didn't even know what love was until Max, and now that he has betrayed me...," she trailed off as her throat tightened.
"But you'll see," Kyle urged, touching her arm, "you will come to love me."
Liz stepped back out of his reach, as tears gathered in her eyes. "No Kyle. What I feel for Max is so powerful that even after all he has done, I know I'll never feel this way about anyone else."
Kyle shook his head. "So you're going to be with Evans even though he has been cheating on you?" he asked incredulously.
"No," Liz said softly. "I love him but I have my pride. I won't be with him."
Kyle smiled. "Then we have a chance."
Liz shook her head. "Kyle it wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve someone who loves you and that can't be me."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liz left her office to go home immediately after she talked to Kyle, too dazed to continue with her work. And somehow she was able to keep the tears at bay until she arrived.
As soon as she closed the door behind her the sobs burst forth and she collapsed onto the sofa.
She loved Max so much, and she had let her love blind her to the truth. She had believed his lies and taken him back even though she’d had no proof.
It was exactly like what had happened with Sean. He’d lied to her again and again, telling her he loved her, while all the time he’d been cheating.
But while she had been surprised and disappointed in Sean, she was heartbroken over Max’s betrayal. They had shared something so special, so wonderful. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced before, and she didn’t think she’d ever find it again.
How could Max say those things to her? How could he so calmly and convincingly lie to her face? Promising his love, promising her it was safe to love him, while he had been with another woman behind her back. It was inhuman.
Her tears subsided as her anger grew, furious that she had let herself believe Max's lies. She started to pace all over the house trying to expend the energy that had been building since Kyle's revelation.
Her whole body shook as she thought about her time with Max. He’d seemed so sweet and kind, doing and saying all the right things, playing her like a master.
She couldn’t believe that she had fallen for his lies. She thought she was smarter than that.
Finally, exhausted she sank down into a chair.
What was she going to tell Maria? Liz knew her sister would be so disappointed that she had been on the verge of reconciling with Max.
Maria had helped her pick up the pieces of her life after she gotten away from Sean. Liz didn’t know how she would have survived without her support.
That was when Liz remembered that Alex’s family reunion was the next day. She’d been looking forward to it, but she couldn’t go now.
She would have to tell Maria what had happened and have her make excuses to the relatives at the reunion for her absence. Liz couldn't face all of those people with such a fresh wound to her heart. She was numb now but she knew sooner or later it would all catch up with her.
Liz reached for the phone and confessed everything to Maria. She was in tears by the time her story was finished. “I am so stupid, Maria,” she said softly, “but I just couldn’t help myself.”
“Awwww Liz,” Maria soothed.
Liz swallowed past the lump in her throat. “So there’s no way I can go this weekend.”
"Liz you've been looking forward to this for a month,” Maria argued. “It's the first time we've had to see some of the relatives in years. You know you'll regret it if you don't come."
"I don't think I can face everyone right now," Liz said softly.
"None of them know what has happened," Maria pointed out.
"I know," Liz admitted.
"Besides," Maria suggested, "it would probably be a good idea for you to get out of the city and away from Max for a few days. You do seem to attract the stalkers. What if Max keeps coming after you?"
Liz pictured Max camping on her doorstep with bouquets of flowers and piles of take-out food. "Yeah, maybe you're right."
"Of course I am,” Maria said. “So get packed, and come and spend the night here and we can get an early start."
Liz knew Maria was just trying to keep her mind off Max by not letting her be alone. She smiled. "Okay, that’s a good idea,” she agreed.
But as Liz packed, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
He’d held her and kissed her so sweetly last night. She felt as if she could still feel his lips on hers.
He thought they were getting back together. And he was expecting to take her to a conciliatory dinner.
Briefly she considered just letting him show up to her house to find no one home. She could even picture the note she would tape to the door. It should say something simple and elegant, like “Go to hell you two-timing bastard.”
No. She discarded the idea quickly, it just wasn't her style.
But what was she going to do about him?
Briefly she considered calling Alex to take a message to Max, but she really didn't want to force him into the middle of the conflict with his friend.
Finally she decided to call Max’s company and leave a message with his receptionist. She didn't have the number but she calculated if she called the main number, she would probably get the receptionist and not him.
A cheerful voice answered. "Datatronics. How may I direct your call?"
"I would like to leave a message for Max Evans," Liz said.
"Just a moment."
Liz held her breath ready to put down the phone if he answered, but expelled the air slowly when a female voice answered. "Max Evans' office."
"I would like to leave a message for Mr. Evans," she said softly.
"Okay. Who is calling please?"
"This is Liz Parker."
"Ms. Parker," the receptionist's tone changed as she obviously recognized her name. "Mr. Evans left instructions for me to put you through to him any time. He's in if you would like to talk to him..."
"No, wait," Liz interrupted quickly, "that's not necessary. It's not urgent or anything. Please just tell Mr. Evans that I won't be able to keep our appointment and it isn't necessary to reschedule."
She hung up and suddenly felt the urgency to out of her house. She had no idea what Max would do when he got her message and she certainly didn't want to be home to find out.
Liz finished her packing and loaded her car quickly, eager to be away. But as she drove to Maria's apartment she felt like a coward. She had run away from him again and again, and this time she was running clear to Alex's cabin. Eventually she would probably have to face Max, but she hoped when she got back she would be more under control and better able to deal with the situation.
Her sister greeted her warmly, pulling her into a tight embrace when she arrived. Liz felt the tears start in her eyes again, but she pushed them back. She was through crying over Max Evans.
Maria and Liz ate a light dinner, which was about as appetizing as cardboard to Liz, and then they packed the car to be ready to leave early the next morning. All evening Liz was on edge, jumping at every sound, expecting Max to show up or call, but the hours passed quietly with no sign of him. Around ten she and Maria went to bed intending to leave for Alex's cabin just after six.
Liz spent a sleepless, fitful night, wondering why Max hadn't called. He said he wouldn't give up on her, but it appeared he had done just that. Liz knew she should feel relieved to be rid of a two-timing scoundrel like him, but she loved him and her heart ached for him.
In the last few days, he had been relentless in his pursuit of her, sending flowers and cards, calling and dropping by. He claimed he was innocent, he demanded that she listen to his side, and he insisted he loved her. His charm, his easy manner, his determined pursuit, but most of all his claims of love had gradually broken down her resistance. She had believed him and then he had betrayed her again.
And that was why she had to stay away from him. She was afraid he could convince her of anything.
Max had power over her, and if she was around him too much he would eventually get to her and she would go back to him. Loving him made her vulnerable and it would be so easy to let herself fall back into the old pattern. She had to be strong and stay away from him at all costs because she couldn’t risk letting him run her life.
Her pride and self-respect demanded that she deserved more than a cheat, but her heart was betraying her, longing to see him again. And she knew she was a fool to love him, but she couldn't make herself stop.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
During the night it snowed, leaving everything coated with a light dusting of powder. And as Liz and Maria drove to Alex’s cabin, they watched the sun come up. The clouds had cleared in the early morning and Saturday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining on the new snow, causing the light dance and sparkle. Usually Liz would have been captivated by the sight, but her heart was too heavy to appreciate the beauty, her mind too occupied with thoughts of Max.
Even though the sun was out, the roads were still slick with snow and as they approached the mountains, the driving conditions worsened. It was slow going, and as they drove the conversation automatically turned to the Max situation.
"This weekend away from him is just what you need," Maria assured her. "It'll give you time to get some perspective on the situation."
She paused and Liz knew exactly what she wasn't saying. Maria hadn't questioned her when she had told her she was having dinner with Max last night but Liz knew Maria was disappointed that she had so easily reconciled with him.
Maria continued. "When you get home on Monday you will have to stay involved with other things to keep your mind off of him," she said. "Max can't keep this up forever. Eventually he'll get the message and stay away, just like Sean did."
After a few minutes when Liz didn’t respond, Maria released a small laugh. "You know, I really expected Max to come by the house or at least call last night. Maybe the last brush-off you gave him was enough."
Liz nodded in agreement but she knew they were underestimating him even as they spoke. She had come to the opposite conclusion last night, he would never give up so easily. Max was waiting, biding his time, making her sweat, forcing her to think about him. His attack would begin again on Monday and it would be relentless.
Maria continued, "The phone only rang once the whole time I was home and I thought it might be him, but it was only Alex checking to make sure he knew our plans. It was sweet. He was worried about us driving up and wanted to know what time to expect us."
Finally they arrived at the mouth of the canyon. It had snowed more heavily in the upper altitudes. The road conditions were treacherous going up the canyon and chains were required. They were forced to leave the car in the park-and-ride lot and transfer to a ski bus that provided service up and down the canyon to the residents and businesses. Stacking their luggage with the others, Liz and Maria headed for the door.
Liz climbed the stairs ahead of Maria, and she was so surprised by what she saw that she stopped suddenly, causing Maria to stumble into her.
Max was sitting alone toward the back of the bus. When he saw her he smiled, and she felt a jab of pain through her chest making it hard for her to breathe. She was even more vulnerable to him than she had thought.
He rose and held a hand out to her and Liz knew he expected her to come to him. She stood immobile staring at him, her heart pounding as a thousand thoughts rushed through her head.
She was relieved and so happy to see him. Her eyes automatically raked over him, drinking in the sight of him. He was so handsome that her breath caught, and her heart filled with love.
But just as quickly the panic set in. He was so determined, and she didn’t think he would ever let her go.
As she continued to stare at him, Max’s smile slowly disappeared to become replaced by a look of pain. Liz felt a wave of despair wash over her but she couldn't look away from him, his eyes were drawing her in. He was begging her to come to him and she wanted to give in so badly that her soul ached.
She knew that no matter what had happened, they were connected on some basic level. Max had gotten past all her defenses and under her skin, and she would never be free of him. She felt drawn to him against her will, and even as her heart was betraying her, her head was screaming “NO! NO!”
But his eyes...
Liz took a tentative step toward him.
Maria broke the spell by pulling her roughly into a seat at the front of the bus, but Liz hardly noticed. Her head was close to bursting with all of the thoughts rushing through it.
Why was Max here? Did he know she'd be here? Had he come because of her? Alex must have invited him, but why? Of course Alex had supported Max the whole time, maybe he was trying to throw them together to force a reconciliation.
Roughly, the bus started the trip up the hill and the panic made Liz’s breath come quickly. She didn't know what to do. The weekend was going to be pure torture for her with Max there. She was sorry she had come, but glad at the same time. Loving him, she wanted to be near Max but the pain she felt around him was too much to bear.
Liz sat rigid in her seat and didn't dare turn around, but she could tell that Max never took his eyes off her. She could feel the golden fire burning into the back of her head and her breathing was so erratic she thought she might pass out.
Maria tried to keep up a conversation, pointing out beautiful scenery and making jokes. Some of their relatives were also on the bus and they talked, catching up, but Liz barely heard what they were saying. Her whole attention was focused on Max, aware of him every second.
There had been no question in her mind that he would come for her. She just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. But she realized now that she had thrown down the proverbial gauntlet and he had accepted the challenge.
She shivered in reaction, thrilled that he was so determinedly pursuing her, but terrified at the same time. What was she going to do?
Maria leaned in close, finally giving up the pretense that Max wasn’t there. "Liz I think we can both guess why he's here. We should've known he was up to something when he didn't try to find you yesterday."
Liz nodded in agreement.
Maria continued. "What we have to do is just make sure you are never alone with him. There will be plenty of people around and lots of things to do. So just stay involved, be too busy to see him alone and I'll run interference for you as much as I can."
As they approached the cabin, the bus came to a stop and several people headed for the exit. Liz was shaking as she anticipated the next couple of days, but she knew she couldn't let Max see any reaction. She couldn’t let him see how much he was affecting her.
She stood and held herself rigidly as she focused on getting off the bus. Each step she took was measured in a nice, steady rhythm. Not too fast, she thought, he'll think I'm running away from him, but not too slow, or he'll think I want him to catch up to me.
As Liz descended the stairs she couldn’t stop a glance in his direction to see where he was. But he was still at the back of the bus, taking his time. His eyes rested on her and a slight smile curved his mouth. Liz could see the determination and purpose in his eyes, and she realized then what he had obviously already known. She was trapped there with him for the next couple of days.
Max knew she couldn't get away from him.
The family inside the cabin must have been watching for the bus’ arrival and most of them came rushing out to greet the new arrivals. Alex & Diane were leading the group, and everyone around them seemed to be hugging and kissing.
Liz watched as Alex's gaze darted between herself and Max and she knew it had been his doing to bring them together. He looked nervous and guilty and she promised herself she would deal with him later.
Liz noted that Max made sure to stand across from her where she couldn’t help but see him. He kept looking at her, trying to pin her with his eyes, but she was evasive and threw herself into the greetings, not even knowing what she was saying or to whom.
She was careful not even to glance in his direction, feigning aloofness and disinterest in hopes of making him back off, or hesitate, so she could avoid another encounter with him until she was stronger. But the panic almost filled her. She realized she was smiling too broadly, laughing too loudly, on the verge of breaking down into tears.
Liz saw the future clearly then. This is how it would be, being near Max but not together, and she would know only pain and loneliness.
All too soon the cold forced the group of relatives to head into the cabin. When the others started to go inside, Liz realized that Max had positioned himself closer to the house than she. It was obvious that he’d planned it that way. She would have to walk past him to get to the front door, and he wasn't moving. He simply stood there, calmly waiting for her to come to him.
Liz could see the determined look on his face and panicked. She didn’t care any longer if she appeared to be the cool, collected individual who had carefully stepped off the bus and joked and talked with the relatives. A wild, almost desperate need clawed up from within, and her only thought was escaping him. She had to get away from him now, her sanity was at stake.
Looking around quickly for a way out, she turned toward the side of the house and ran.
Instinctively she knew that Max was faster but she timed her escape to occur when the majority of the people were between them, blocking her briefly from his sight. She ran and didn't look back even when she heard him call her name.
