(Sorry, I didn't save who posted this.)
Just admit it... you're addicted.
It's not a bad thing, in fact, acceptance is the key to pure Roswellian happiness. When you finally accept your undying love of Roswell you will begin to embrace a new universe and see things you never imagined. You will become part of something bigger than yourself. You will officially become one of the "crazy obsessed ones" and you will ship your favourite characters like there's no tomorrow.
Are you still reading?
Below is a guide to the warning signs that will let you know if you are a Roswell addict.
You know you're addicted if...
1 - You have every episode on tape.
2 - You know the name of every episode and can recite them by heart (in logical plot order).
3 - You bought Tabasco in bulk.
4 - You know episode plots before the writers do.
5 - Brendan knows you by name.
6 - Majandra feels threatened.
7 - You've developed a love of strawberries, applesauce, Tobasco, Snapple and Krispy Kremes.
8 - The song "Here With Me" sends you running to the nearest TV.
9 - At night you search the sky for the five star constellation where Antar lies.
10 - You are a member of RAMS.
11 - You know what RAMS means.
12 - You know what CHADS, OTO or MOB mean.
13 - You have a handprint tattoo.
14 - You convinced your husband to get a "Michael" haircut.
15 - Instead of the "French Maid" outfit, you ask your girlfriend to wear the "Crashdown Waitress" get up, complete with flashing alien antennae.
16 - You named your kids Max and Isabel, you have a cat called Maria and a gerbil called Tess.
17 - You can't count your Fan Forum stars on one hand.
18 - You smile when you hear the word "Czechoslovakian".
19 - You are a member of RAMS.
20 - You identify Vasquez Rocks as "The Granolith Chamber!"
21 - You disconnect the phone on tuesday nights.
22 - You get homicidal when anyone tries to part you from the TV when Roswell is on.
23 - Your sister still has scars.
24 - You've ever posted on a thread called RA - Roswellians Anonymous.
25 - You are reading this right now.
26 - You are a member of RAMS.
27 - You say things like "she's a real vibrator." without blinking an eye.
28 - You cried for Alex.
29 - Your friends had to help you through Max and Liz's break up.
30 - Covina is your favorite vacation spot.
31 - You are a member of RAMS.
32 - You watched TV for hours, pre-season, just to catch a glimpse of the 20 second promo.
33 - Nobody calls you by your name anymore...it's just "Roswell-head!!"
34 - You don't care.
35 - You have a love-hate relationship with a man called Jason Katims.
36 - You wish you had a relationship with a man called Jason Behr.
37 - You know for a fact, that aliens exist.
38 - You try to get community service hours for the Roswell Campaign.
39 - You read Majandra's diary.
40 - You cannot be, until you're resting here with me.
41 - You strongly dislike the woman at work, with the blonde, curly hair.
42 - You were caught kissing another man/woman and say "I was mind warped, I tell you!!!"
43 - Nobody understands your references to "the Christmas Nazi".
44 - Nobody understands your references - period -
You know you're obsessed with Roswell when...
You talk about Roswell nonstop and your friends are sick of hearing that word.
You dream of the whole gang at night and then wake up and wish you could remember it so you could write a fanfic about it.
You are glued to the TV and will not leave the room when Roswell is on, unless you have to go to the bathroom and then you sprint so you don't miss anything.
You fit your schedule around Roswell.
You only read fanfiction online instead of reading for homework.
You write Roswell fanfic during school.
You freak out if you don't record an episode or if the show is not on that week.
Your mood depends on whether that week's Roswell was good and happy.
You are online until the wee hours looking at other Roswell sites and reading fanfiction.
When you do a report on Roswell for school and use that as an excuse to watch the show and surf Roswell sites!!-Jen
When you start talking into the mirror pretending to be characters from
Roswell.-Tracey
When you know you are going to miss an episode of Roswell so you ask a
parent to tape it but they are technologically impaired and then you write
them a 7 page letter describing every detail so they don't screw up because
you NEED Roswell!!-Tracey
When you start believing that Max Evans is a real person and he should be smacked on the head for liking Tess.-Erin
When you won't eat unless you have Tabasco sauce.-Erin
If your friends don't like Roswell you dump them-Erin
When you think anything on this pg. is a good idea.-Erin
When you start memorizing all the lines to every show.-Erin
When you write in your Journal how you know Max, Michael and Isabel are going to save you from this world and bring them to their world and people will start watching you on TV every week.-Erin
You daydream about Roswell.-Erin
You plan an episode before it comes on and yell at the writers for not doing it the way you wanted it to go.-Erin
You dream that you are Liz and you and Max are on a deserted island.-Erin
Everything reminds you of Roswell like a song Tim McGraw song that says Here with me...which .reminds you of Dido's song which reminds you of how hot Brendan or Katherine look in the credits and then reminds you of the dupes kissing and then makes you think of Max in the City!-Erin
You think Jason Behr and Max Evans are two different people.-Erin
You start wishing that Jason and Shiri would get together.-Erin
You talk like you know each of them in real life and that you're good friends with both the actors and the characters they play.-Erin
Eleven Sure Signs You're A Roswell Fanatic
(This list was from Oz Crash Festival)
In the grand tradition of the Roswell novels.... here is an internet list that Alex Manes (Whitman in the show) always comes up with. A quirk they chose not to pursue in the series...
1. You frantically check the TV programme every week to see if Roswell is on......... buying both papers so you can compare the episode description and cross check that both agree it is on. Yeah!
2. You personally record each episode of Roswell ,even though channel 9 shows it at an ungodly hour that messes up your body clock. You can't risk that you'll accidentally miss it because the footy ran late.....
3. You get a Pavlov's dog response at a mere mention of Roswell anywhere
4. You travel to a place that sells American magazines (even though it's a few suburbs away) so you can get the magazine for the ad featuring your favourite aliens in Levi clothes.
5. You even stoop to buying men's magazines because they feature a cast member of Roswell in it......... even if it means turning beet red because it features a scantily clad Carmen Electra on the cover (Ew!)
6. You nearly rear-end a car because you were too busy gawking at a one of those huge blow up alien things that featured in both the pilot and the UFO Convention episodes.
7. You know the name of each episode aired.
8. Your CD collection grows in proportion to the music featured in each episode.
9. You know the dialogue so well you can say the lines before the character can say it......... from rewatching each episode numerous times.
10. You try Tabasco on your food, and coke, and chocolate cake ...........
11. You buy every bit of Roswell merchandising there is out there....posters, trading cards, books, magnets....anything. Thanks to Isabella for sending this in
You Know You're A Roswell Fan If...
(Sorry, I didn't note where this list was orig from.)
... You have no interest in a cute guy from school until he heals you with a touch and tells you he's an alien and suddenly you fall in love with him.
... You go out and buy Dido's album No Angel because Roswell's theme song, "Here With Me" is on it.
...You start watching Dawson's Creek to try and see the episodes Jason Behr guest starred in.
...You start watching Xena: Warrior Princess to try and see the episodes Shiri Appleby guest starred in.
...You rent any movie because a Roswell star played in it (or in the case of Disturbing Behavior: 2 Roswell stars, one Roswell executive producer).
...You get into a fight with anyone about Jason Behr being the cutest guy on earth.
...You argue with a friend over who's cuter: Jason Behr or Brendan Fehr.
...You refuse to talk to anyone who thinks Katherine Heigl is even slightly overweight.
...You cried when Roswell Online was hacked into and destroyed.
... You are more paranoid than most whenever you see the sheriff.
... You lose your diary and suddenly you begin accusing every one of stealing it to learn about your alien friend.
... You search the Internet for anything Roswell related.
... You think of Liz and Max's hug every time you hear "I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan.
... You wish you were an alien so you could clean your clothes by waving your hand instead of doing the laundry.
... You get a headache and wish you had a secret power to make it go away.
... Your mom (or dad or best friend) gets an injury and you offer to heal it for them, as long as they don't turn you over to the government.
... You're terrified of talking to the new school counselor.
... Any time you see a hand print you wonder if Max, Isabel, or Michael are around.
... You try to heat up coffee by using your hands.
...You try to listen to a CD by holding it up to your ear.
... You refuse to date anyone named Kyle.
... You shake the vending machine and hope that everything falls.
... You suddenly develop a craving for Tabasco Sauce.
... People keep giving you UFO related books to read.
...You try to find a copy of Among Us by James Atherton.
... You look up Marathon, Texas, on a map to see if it really exists.
...You get caught speeding, and tell the officer that you have a weak bladder and had to pee, to avoid getting arrested.
... You write/read Roswell fan fiction.
... You try and figure out why Max would tell Liz he is an alien, but not tell her why they were all going to Texas in "285 South."
... You think of Max, Isabel, and Michael every time someone says the words, "alien" or "secret."
... You wish you could get into other people's dreams and play jokes on them.
... You dream about the show and or its characters.
... You used to hate Wednesday's but now it's your favorite day of the week.
... You suddenly decide vanilla ice cream is your favorite.
... You tell your non-Roswell watching friends they are weird for not watching and loving the show as much as you do.
...You insist on telling everyone Roswell is the next X-Files.
... You get a haircut like your favorite Roswell character.
... You wish you could wave your hand over your enemy's test and change all the answers to wrong ones.
... You wish you could read Faulkner's The Hamlet as fast as Isabel read Among Us.
... You read James Joyce's Ulysses to see if "what incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds" is really on page 655 (it is, by the way, if anyone's curious).
... You start watching Win Ben Stein's Money.
...You start laughing anytime someone mentions The View.
... You start dressing like your favorite character from the show.
... You are convinced that there are aliens disguised as humans everywhere.
... You start telling people that aliens are not bad.
... You vow to never watch Independence Day, Alien, or Men in Black again, because they are discriminating against aliens, even though you loved them before watching Roswell.
... You begin taking art classes in order to start drawing Michael's dome.
... You suddenly decide you'd like to be a waitress.
... You start carrying your house key in the top of your thermos.
... You decide the chain lock on your front door is not nearly good enough!
... You have every episode taped.
... You wonder when all the Roswell merchandise will hit stores.
... You were one of the first people to log onto the Internet to search for or build Roswell pages.
... You can name every Roswell episode title off the top of your head.
... You drive your friends crazy by telling them about each episode in detail.
... You are afraid that Kate Foster from First Wave will discover Max's secret.
...You try to find a necklace with the symbol from Riverdog on it.
...You think you can start skipping classes and not get into trouble.
...You don't question where everyone's parents are when they're going on out of state road trips and breaking into hotel rooms.
...You begin wondering about the level of security at your local hospital.
...If any episode has ever made you cry, or laugh so hard you cried.
...Instead of counting the days until your birthday, you count the days until the next new episode of Roswell airs.
...People start talking about government conspiracies and aliens whenever they see you.
...You don't have a home page, just a Roswell page.
...You name any of your children after Roswell characters (or after the actors/actresses who play them.)
...You know every line of every episode, and play the episodes for your friends just to demonstrate your wondeful memory.
...People refer to you as, "That girl who watches Roswell."
...You look up the character's names in the phone book, and get excited if you find one.
...You go to a rave with the hopes of being arrested like Liz and Alex were in "Heatwave."
...You start out every journal entry by stating your first and last name.
...You decide to participate in a Sweat Lodge Ceremony just to see what happens.
...You kiss someone you like and use the excuse that it was to calm them down.
...You buy more than 1 tape or CD because one of the songs was played in a Roswell episode.
...You buy every magazine that even mentions Roswell in it.
...You stare up at the night sky, searching for the V-shaped constellation.
... You sit around making up a list of how to know if you're a Roswell fan.
Added 6-19-00
...You take your family on vacation to New Mexico and drive down 285 South just to say you did it.
...You take your family on vacation to New Mexico and drive down 285 South in search of a "nookie motel."
...You have a picture of yourself standing next to mile marker 67, smiling proudly.
...You've been to West Covina, California.
...You've sent letters and or gifts to any of the cast members.
...You can't watch a certain episode without crying (i.e. "The Balance" or "Toy House).
...You're involved in any type of Roswell RPG.
...Your weekly "To Do" list consists of 1. Discussing the last episode of Roswell that aired with your online friends. 2. Updating your Roswell website. 3. Writing the next chapter of your current Roswell fanfic and 4. Making a new Roswell desktop wallpaper for your computer.
...You decide to start up a "Sunshine Committee" to investigate...er, WELCOME the new girl at school.
...You grab every opportunity avaliable to quote the show.
...You look forward to Mondays now.
...Wednesdays have lost their meaning.
...You talk to your online Roswell friends more than you talk to your own family.
...You watch all the reruns even though you have every episode taped.
...You record all the reruns in case your other copies get lost.
...You stay up half the night trying to see your favorite Roswell star on one of the late shows or in an old movie, even though you have to work early the next morning.
...You've started recording/watching other WB shows just to catch the new Roswell promo.
...You own a copy of every Roswell High book that's been released and constantly call your local bookstore demanding to know when the next one's due out.
...You record every episode on 2 VCR's in case one of them breaks down. Hey, if they both do, you can always drive to your parents house and pick up the copy you made them record for you.
...You find yourself adding more red things to your wardrobe because Alex likes red.
...You search your house for tiny video cameras and listening devices (this paranoia increases if you are also an X-Phile).
...You personally threatened Pierce's life during "White Room."
...You giggle anytime someone says anything about "up north."
...You hear a song on the radio and you announce to your parents or friends or whoever you're with that, "This song reminds me sooo much of Max and Liz!"
...You mention Roswell on a school test, or in a paper.
...You glare at anyone who dares suggest that, "Roswell is just a show!"
...You can't watch "Sexual Healing" alone...someone must be there with you to remind you to breathe.
...Anytime a waitress asks you what you want to drink, you respond, "Cherry cola, hold the arsenic."
...You've ever put Tabasco sauce in your drink just to see how people will react.
...When you're depressed or moody, you now find yourself inexplicably listening to the Counting Crows.
...You watched "Crazy" for the first time and have such an addiction to Alex you said aloud, "'Scream 2?' 'Knotting Hill?' Could we *BE* anymore compatible?"
...You accept everything in "Roswell Elementary" as truth. Mr. Raddish is real. It's just a fact.
...You refuse to speak to anyone named Tess.
...You suspect your boyfriend has been replaced by a shape-shifting alien.
...You've even *considered* trying chocolate cake with Tabasco sauce.
...During "Crazy" when Pierce pulls up in the car beside Alex, you yelled, "Don't you *get* in that car!"
...You started laughing during "Tess, Lies and Videotape" while Max is putting up a sign in the UFO museum that reads, "Trust No One." Then you wondered where the "Deny Everything" sign was. (Okay, this is more of an X-Files thing, but I couldn't resist).
...You do an Internet search for the chords to "Love Kills" and "Hurt by Love."
You Know You're An Obsessed Roswell Fan If...
(Sorry, I didn't note where this list was orig from.)
1. You know aliens crashed in Roswell. It's a fact. Accept it.
2. No one is to call you on Tuesday's apon penalty of death.
3. you bought the Dido CD just because 'here with me' is on it.
4. You barely remember life before Roswell, and what you do remember is some how related to Roswell like that time you saw a UFO.
5. Your Email has some reference to Roswell.
6. You read fan fic.
7. You write fan fic.
8.You can't look at a bottle of Tabasco sauce with out smiling.
9.You wonder what Chocolate cake and T.S. taste like
10. You tried chocolate cake and T.S.
11. You liked it.
12.You start every journal entry by stating your full name.
13. You beg your parents to take a vacation to Roswell NM.
14. You have a Roswell site.
15. When you find a spoiler predicting something good happening, you are giddy.
16. When it predicts something bad, you get depressed.
17. You all but cried when you heard Majandra and Brenden broke up.
18. You wonder when the Roswell merchandise will be in stores.
19. You bought out the entire Levi's store
20. You bought a Jetta or a jeep.
21. Cherry coke is now your favourite drink.
22. You loooooove strawBEHRy apple sauce and M&M's.
23. You belong to 2 or more Roswell mailing lists
24. '285' makes you smile.
25. You can say all the episode title off the top of your head and do on a regular basis to prove your Roswell knowledge to your friends who think you are totally insane.
26. Your new favorite name is Liz, Max, Maria, Michael, Shiri, Jason, Majandra, Brenden etc...
27. Your idea of watching a movie is watching one of your Roswell tapes.
28. Just thinking about certain scenes makes you cry.
29. You count hours and minutes to the start of the show days before it airs.
30. You actually look forward to Tuesday now, Monday if you are Canadain
32. You used to love Wednesdays, but now it's just a day in the middle of he Week.
33. Your mood on Wendesday is completely dependant on What happens on Roswell.
34. Your goal in life is to turn the world Roswellain.
35. You accept the Roswell Elementary stories as true. Mr. Radish is real. End of story.
36. You cried for three days after 'Destiny', 'End of the world' and 'Cry your name'.
37. The new guy at school/work is named Max and you instantly have a crush on him.
38. You dislike anyone is named Tess, Hank or Vanessa.
39. You never go to your guidance counselor because she may work for the FBI.
40. You rented Pleasantville, to see if you could spot Jason.
41. You sent a bottle of Tabasco to the WB in 2000, or UPN in 2001.
42. You watch 'Win Ben Steins Money'.
43. You looked up Marathon TX. to see if it actually exists.
44. You quit your waitress job, because it's not safe.
45. You went as your favourite Roswell character for Halloween but no one could see the difference.
46. You have a vile of Cedar oil.
47. You get in to heated argument with your friends who say that Roswell is a bad show. (any one who says Roswell is a bad show is not your friend!)
48. You are known as 'that girl/guy who watches Roswell'.
49. You enrolled on Art classes but will only paint geodesic domes.
50. You change your phone number so that it contain '285' some where in it.
51. On October 6 1999, you were normal, but now....
Thanks to Crys0116 for signs 52 to 54!
52. After "End of the World" You dug out your Sheryl Crow CD that's been shelved for a year and listened to "I shall Believe" over and over again.
53. You smile when ever you see a jetta on the road. 54.You are president of your local Roswell fan club.
55. You have or are in the process of reading the Roswell high books.
56. You are a member of R.A.G.E. or any other group the loves or hates a character with a passion.
57. You went to the book store to get the newest Roswell High book, and when they didn't have it, you searched behind every book on the shelf and then yelled at the sales clerk until they promised to order more and call you the second they come in.
58. You have used Roswell in some kind of school project.
59. Your dog is named Max, your bird is named Maria, you cat is named Isabel and your gerbil is named Tess.
60. You told your boss you can't work on Tusedays, Ever.
61. While watching season 1 or the first half of season 2 on tape, you find yourseld screaming at the T.V. 'No! Don't walk away! Talk to her!' or 'No! Don't do that!'
62. While watch season 1 on tape, you've been known to mumble 'If you only knew....' at any number of characters.
63. You saw a model house at hallmark (or equally cheesy gift shop) and bought it cause it reminded you know MAx;s toy house.
64. You'll only buy clothes you've seen on the show. Double points if you are a guy and have been sucked in to Max's cycle of tee shirts.
65.You named your goldfish Max and Liz, or Michael and Maria or Isabel and Alex or Maria and Liz or Max and Isabel ect...
66. You refuse to go camping because you are convinced that some shape shifting alien is going to choose that weekend to send a message to the planet a mile from your tent.
67. You're starting to confuse the show with the mass amounts of fan fic you read
68. When you Pass Victoria's secert and see an aqua bra in the window you can't help but giggle and its not because they jiggle
69. You're know you have paranoia szchisophrea because you have started to refer to yourself i nthe third person and have talks with yourself when you are nervous
70. You've ever convinced (or tried) yourself that someonthing or someone on the show isn't real eg. Alex didn't die and Spot isn't real
71. You cried for a solid week when Alex died
72. You can quote entire episodes off the top of your head
73. you can list off the episode titles, and original air dates off the top of your head. Extra point if you know the nielsen ratings too
74. You are part of an ultra elite on line Roswell group
75. Even though the show is now cancelled you refuse to give up hope for a future mini series, TV movie, or that Sci-fi might even pick it up one day!
76. You can't wait for the show to start in syndication even thought you already have all the eppis on tape.
77. You have more then one Roswell CD that you burned yourself.
78. You cried when Fan sites started closing down cause it makes it seem more final.
79. You deeply anulyized the snapple obsession of the third season.
80. Even though the season finale filled in a lot of plot holes, you still hated it cause you thought it just opened up a whole new can of worms.
81. you're reading every virtual season 4 you can (even though you love RTFC the best.)
82. You were first in line to buy the soundtrack
83. You bought more then one copy to boast the sales numbers
84. when someone tapes over one of your season 1 eppies you started crying, even thought you have at least one extra copy.
85. You hold out hope that Sci-fi will pick up the show in a few years afters it's become wildly popular in syndication.
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